leave my door open just a crack

addicted to the knife???

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 03:20:13 GMT

friends cut, as announced. most of the cuts were journals i rarely/never saw updates or comments from, so i assumed were inactive. some of them i honestly wasn't sure who they were, so i blame rename tokens. if you feel you have been cut in error, please post here and let me know if you like...changed your name and i missed it somewhere, cuz i will fully admit i may just be retarded and don't realize i actually do know who you are. XD;;;

LET ME SHOW YOU MY POKEMANZ

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 09:05:44 GMT

...some of the names are for obvious reasons, i suppose.

Axel will make a bitchin' Charizard one day. >3

i called the Pikachu Roxas because he is adorable. and i use him all the time. so he and Axel are friends. i decided. >:[

Belle the Weepinbelle duh... even if it's not a very attractive pokemon, it was really the only name for it.

ah...Bruce Wayne the Golbat is the only non-KH name. oh come on, i had to.

Xion is a Rattata because i got a female and she was little and adorable but kicked ass anyway. Hyper Fang is a badass attack, yo. i almost hate to evolve her cuz then she won't be as cute. >/

my Geodude is Shenzi cuz it was a girl. i dunno how a Geodude can be female, but whatevs; it was hard to come up with a name. i wanted a male to name it Lexaeus, but eh. maybe i'll wait til i get a Ryhorn.

MARLUXIA IS A BYOOTEEFUL BUTTERFLY AND YOU KNOW IT.

Mickey and Minnie are my Nidorans, cuz when i evolve them, they can be the Nidoking and queen of my pokemanz. *shot*

i initially called the Pidgey Kairi, but then i decided Kairi had to be a water pokemon, so now it's a Wendybird LOL.

the Farfetch'd i got in a trade so i couldn't rename it. laaaame. wtf is a Ch'ding??

i know Paras is a bug and not a crab but it looks like a crab! look, he even looks like he's dancing! ...so his name is Sebastian.

guess what my female Sandshrew's name is. here's a clue: "...Marry the shrew...? The idea has merit!"

naming the Voltorb was hard, cuz 1.) it has no gender and 2.) Larxene is really the only electric element in KH. so i named him Ventus, after Roxas's other half in BBS...cuz the Pikachu is Roxas and they share an element. reaching, i know. >.>;

well you just don't get much more rock-headed than Riku.

Saix. because Mankies have horrible tempers and are known for...going berserk. XD;;

my Jigglypuff is named Sephiroth. I REGRET NOTHING.

even though Larxene is a lightning element, i figured Beedrill suited her better. she's no Pikachu.

i have two Magikarp--Mulan and Shang. they will evolve into badass dragons together and it's gonna be amazing, just you wait and see. i...i love dragon pokemanz. *A*

I'M GONNA BE A POKEMAN MASTRRRRRR!!!!1 this game is so addictive. and it's about all i have the capacity for when it's fifteen kersquillion degrees in the house. tomorrow i'm gonna see if there's wifi at the library or something so i can catch up on tags and read vel's app and send off more resumes and actually be productive instead of a mooshy puddle of blargh. SORRY FOR THE DELAY, KIDS. D:

ETA:

two adorable Vulpix are now mine as well! :D apparently the male ones are really rare, on top of Vulpix already being a rare appearance, so i caught one of each. and even though The Fox and the Hound isn't in KH, i named them Todd and Vixy anyway. ♥ oh my childhood~ Eve i caught two Lv.16 females and a Lv.16 male for you~ :D

Sat, 20 Jun 2009 04:21:04 GMT

Just a Small Incision...

Mon, 01 Jun 2009 16:31:58 GMT

bitty friends-cut, mostly dead/inactive/deleted journals and a couple reconciliations. if you feel you have been removed in error drop a message and i'll add you back!

[fst] Bleach - Renji/Orihime - Only a Broken Heart

Sun, 10 May 2009 00:39:22 GMT

Medium: Manga [I disowned the anime]
Fandom: Bleach
Subject: Abarai Renji/Inoue Orihime
Title: Only a Broken Heart
Warnings: HET
Notes: Since getting into the Bleach fandom, I've been a very fierce supporter of RenRuki, but it just so happened that in an RP of mine, the Rukia and Ichigo players ship IchiRuki. This changed the entire axis of my Bleach world, and funnily enough, Renji started gravitating toward Orihime, and she toward him after their respective Objects of Affection turned them down. And suddenly I started to ship it; they've got a lot more in common than I ever really gave much thought to. However, since it's canon Orihime is in love with Ichigo, and pretty much canon Renji is arse-over-kettle for Rukia, it takes a strong dose of IchiRuki to make this pairing work. Thus, this is my Circumstantial OTP™.

Seventeen tracks plus bonus song. All files are MP3 format, complete with track numbers and album art for those of you iTuners. Everything is uploaded individually, and a zip file can be found at the bottom. Because I'm a gross overachiever, and since there are no real canon panels of these two actually interacting, I wrote little fic snippets to go with each song. ^_^ Special special thanks to faetan for being my favorite Orihime ever and getting me into Bleach in the first place! ♥

o1. Yael Naim - Too Long [♪]
i irrigate illusions
then let them grow
how can i pacify myself
and let go?
and i ran wild to see
who i turned out to be...

i've been waiting on my own
i've been waiting for too long
not strong enough to be with you
i've been making up my world
i've been painting it with gold
not strong enough to see you...

「Orihime had spent most of her life supposing she would never be strong enough for Ichigo to fancy her. She just hadn't expected the confirmation to hurt so badly.」

o2. Daughtry - Used To [♪]
you used to walk with me like
we had nowhere we needed to go
nice and slow...
to no place in particular

we used to have this figured out;
we used to breathe without a doubt
when nights were clear
you were the first star that i'd see
we used to have this under control
we never thought; we used to know
at least there's you, and at least there's me
can we get this back?
can we get this back to how it used to be?

「He had always figured that if they ever spoke again, Rukia would be different. After all, it had been forty years they'd spent apart. What Renji hadn't counted on was the idea that she now had a closeness with Ichigo that had been theirs once upon a time, and he envied it.」

o3. Josie and the Pussycats - You Don't See Me [♪]
i dream a world where you understand
that i dream a million sleepless nights
well i dream a fire when you're touching my hand
but it twists into smoke when i turn on the lights

i'm speechless and faded
it's too complicated
is this how the book ends--
nothing but good friends?

'cuz you don't see me
and you don't need me
and you don't love me
the way i wish you would
the way i know you could...

「No words of condolence were ever so sharp, so piercing, or so painful as the 'I'm sorry' that came after an 'I love you'.」

o4. Rie Fu - I So Wanted [♪]
last night I wrote something like
'it's more than pain'
and secret numbness is all that remains

i so wanted to be in your heart
i so wanted to be in your heart
but you wanted her and me on my own.
you don't know that it left another hole...

「Orihime never indicted Rukia for filling the coveted spot in Ichigo's heart. She didn't even envy the girl, for envy was a cruel and bitter emotion Orihime had long ago wished to never feel toward her friends again. And so all she managed to feel was...hollow, and in feeling hollow she felt afraid, for Hollows always attacked the ones they loved and left behind.」

o5. Eve 6 - At Least We're Dreaming [♪]
swimming through the aisles at the grocery store
i don't even know what I'm lookin for
waiting for someone to come along and find me.

at least I'm breathin'; at least I'm alive
as long as im dreamin'
everything's gonna be all right.

going out at night looking for distraction
sleeping through the day there's no redemption
waiting for someone to come along and find you.

at least you're breathin'; at least you're alive
as long as you're dreamin', everything's gonna be all right.

at least we're breathing
at least we're alive
as long as we're dreaming
everything's gonna be all right...

「He had never known Orihime very well. Though he had been quick to volunteer to go after her when she'd been spirited away to Hueco Mundo, it had mostly been because he knew the girl was dear to both Ichigo and Rukia, for whom Renji would have done anything. But when he bumped into her one afternoon on his way to the grocer for Urahara (anything to keep his mind occupied), and had easily read the heartbreak on her face, he had postponed the errand, bought her a crepe, and sat her down on a bench in the park. And then he just let her cry for both of them.」

o6. Rob Thomas - When the Heartache Ends [♪]
there ain't nobody who can show you how
to find the surface when you're underground
there ain't no blanket that can hide this cold
there ain't no memory that ever gets old

and it's all right, why don't you tell me again
how you'll still be there when the heartache ends
and it's all right, why don't you tell me, my friend
how you'll still be there when the heartache ends...

「When she learned that Renji had confessed his feelings to Rukia and had not received the response he'd hoped for, she understood how he'd known just what she'd needed that day in the park. And so she asked Urahara to deliver a message to him, inviting him to come visit her in the living world anytime, because while two broken hearts were a very sad foundation to build a friendship upon, it was a much better alternative to two broken hearts hurting alone.」

07. Tom Petty - Only A Broken Heart [♪]
i know your weakness
you've seen my dark side
the end of the rainbow
is always a long ride
but don't be afraid anymore
it's only a broken heart...

「Renji had always hated to see girls cry, and Orihime was surely no exception, but whereas with most people he flailed because he didn't know how to fix the situation, he learned quickly that Orihime's tears were fixing the problem. So he let her cry, and she let him wipe the tears away, and somewhere over the course of it all, they both started to heal.」

o8. Daughtry - Crashed [♪]
from your face, your eyes are burning to me
you saved me, you gave me just what i need
oh, just what i need...

and then i crashed into you
and i went up in flames
could've been the death of me
but then you breathed your breath in me
and i crashed into you
like a runaway train
you will consume me
but i can't walk away...

「He had never suspected she would be so clever and wise, and she had never imagined he would be so gentle and bolstering, and neither of them could have dreamed that the other was apparently...just what the doctor ordered.」

o9. John Mayer - Say [♪]
walking like a one man army
fighting with the shadows in your head
living out the same old moment
knowing you'd be better off instead,
if you could only...

say what you need to say...

have no fear for giving in
have no fear for giving over
you'd better know that in the end
its better to say too much
then never say what you need to say again...

「He had chided her for smiling when she wanted to cry, and she had scolded him for standing tall when he wanted to fall apart, and then they had both just laughed, because for the first time in their lives, maybe it was okay to say and do what they were really thinking and feeling.」

1o. Jimmy Eat World - Chase This Light [♪]
i've seen the best of love, the best of hate
the best reward is earned, and I've paid
for every single word i ever said

confetti rainfall in the quiet street
the beauty is in what you make it
so get up on your feet

because tonight, the world turned in me
because right now, i don't dare to breathe
oh babe i know it's alive
and somewhere for us to find tonight
chase this light with me...

「Renji had spent so much of his life howling at the stars--or at least one star in particular--and it wasn't until one night as he watched Orihime run from one circle of light to the next, darting between the streetlamps down the sidewalk, that he realized that reaching for stars--endlessly far away things that they were--had probably always been futile, but maybe chasing light wasn't such a bad idea...」

11. 矢野真紀 (Yano Maki) - 大きな翼 (Ookina Tsubasa//Great Wings) [♪]

『その碧さに　鈍る爪先
踏み出したら　傷も癒えていく
ぬくもりになって　強さになって
小さな私を　征服する』

『踊りだしそうな　若い瞳からは
飛び立つ術が映っている　私を見てと
大きな翼は疼いてる
果てしない明日に私は歌う』

as i tiptoe through my own naïveté
i will move forward in order to heal
i will become warm, i will become strong
and i will overcome my own shortcomings

from within these dancing eyes,
there is a soul that cries out, "here, look at me!"
and these great wings upon my back ache
as i sing my way toward the endless future...

「She had always wanted to be strong for Ichigo, to be the kind of person he wouldn't have to protect. But with Renji, she wanted to be strong for a different reason--she wanted to be the kind of person who was worth protecting.」

12. Rise Against - Swing Life Away [♪]
i'll show you mine if you show me yours first
let's compare scars, i'll tell you whose is worse
let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words

we live on front porches and swing life away
we get by just fine here on minimum wage
if love is a labor i'll slave till the end
i won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

「The road to the future had always looked long, winding and uncertain, especially when you kept glancing behind you to see all the old mistakes in your wake. But it was a lot easier to keep your eyes forward on what could be rather than what had been when you had someone walking next to you.」

13. DMB - Best of What's Around [♪]
see you and me have a better time than most can dream
have it better than the best, so we can pull on through
whatever tears at us, whatever holds us down
and if nothing can be done
we'll make the best of what's around

turns out not where but who you're with
that really matters
and hurts not much when you're around
and if you hold on tight
to what you think is your thing
you may find you're missing all the rest...

「Somehow they always managed to have a good time, no matter what happened. If it rained when they had planned to go to the beach, they would swim in the rain--harder to get sunburnt that way, after all. If the weather was too hot and muggy to go hiking, they would sit on the balcony of Orihime's apartment drinking iced tea and discussing the most effective method of rappelling down the side of the adjacent building--because one day they were absolutely going to do that. And when Orihime had tripped and fallen headlong down a flight of steps, breaking her wrist the day she had made plans to teach Renji how to play her favorite board game, he stopped by her apartment on the way to the hospital to get it from her closet so they didn't have to reschedule.」

14. The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Your Guardian Angel [♪]
and now that i'm strong i have figured out
how this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul
and i know i'll find deep inside me
i can be the one

i will never let you fall
i'll stand up with you forever
i'll be there for you through it all
even if saving you sends me to heaven

「Ichigo had told her once in passing how Renji had volunteered, not as a personal friend, but as a high-ranking officer of the Gotei 13, to retrieve her from Las Noches, and Orihime had been touched. After all, it wasn't every day someone got a vice-captain to personally come to their rescue. But when she told him one day how happy that knowledge had made her, he just snorted a laugh and shook his head and explained that if it ever happened again, he'd be rescuing her as a friend, not an officer, and if the soutaichou wanted to deny the request, he would have no qualms about telling Old Man Yama where he could stick it.」

15. Colbie Caillat - Realize [♪]
but i can't spell it out for you
no, it's never gonna be that simple
no i cant spell it out for you

if you just realize what i just realized
then we'd be perfect for each other
and will never find another
just realized what i just realized
we'd never have to wonder if
we missed out on each other now...

「They were both pretty dense when it came to romance, and it wasn't until one night when Renji had cracked his head on an open cabinet in her kitchen and she'd leaned in close to take a look that he realized he really wanted to kiss her. And it wasn't until he did so that she realized she'd wanted him to for a long time.」

16. Quietdrive - Time After Time [♪]
if you're lost
you can look
and you will find me
time after time
if you fall
i will catch you
i'll be waiting
time after time...

「Renji was an impatient man by nature. He hated waiting in line and was easily irritated by people who worked, walked, or explained too slowly. Even if a Shinigami potentially had forever, Renji didn't want to waste time sitting on his hands. But some things were worth waiting for, and even if it meant sitting on her doorstep with nothing to do for two hours so he would be sure to be there when she got home, seeing a smile light up Orihime's face after hearing she'd had a rough day was one of them.」

17. The Rolling Stones - You Can't Always Get What You Want [♪]
you can't always get what you want
but if you try sometimes
you might find
you get what you need...

「She had spent so long pining for the boy who had saved her from drowning in the darkest time of her life, and he had pined for so many years for the girl who had been his anchor. But in the end, maybe what she'd needed was a boy untethered to the earth, and he a girl who wasn't afraid to be rescued.」

Omake! Rie Fue - I So Wanted (Japanese Version) [♪] [Full FST Zip]

If there are any broken links or the full download expires, just drop a note and I'll be happy to rectify the situation. Thanks for listening! ♥

OBSERVATIONS!

Mon, 23 Feb 2009 03:24:33 GMT

so i've made jokes about how Reno, Renji, and Axel all look and act related. the three of them could easily pass for brothers raised in the same house; they have similar vernaculars, similar outlooks on life in general, and by god they certainly look related. but what i didn't realize until i got to making some icons for RP journals is that...Renji and Axel make a lot of almost identical faces. it's...almost uncanny.

my findings. let me show you them.

i actually first noticed the similarities in my LOL icons.

and then later, i noted a decided similarity between the >/ icons as well.

and from there, i started looking for similarities. and my findings were quite intriguing.

Axel's OMGWTFBBQ face is slightly less intense than Renji's, but the resemblance is there.

they have very similar wicked evil grins.

they look smug in a very similar fashion...

they even look alike when heartbroken...

dubious faces are dubious...

and their smarmy grins looks rather alike as well, wouldn't you say? bonus points for similar hand positions!

and when they get serious, they make the same srs face.

anyway. i just found this amusing and a little...coincidental and thought i would share. maybe they really are brothers. XD

[fic] Bleach - Four RenRuki Flashfics

Sun, 15 Feb 2009 05:58:27 GMT

here, have some flashfics in celebration of ~~Single Awareness Day~~ Valentine's Day. 8D hurray for lame holidays that are a good excuse to write fluff. i wanted to do all eleven prompts, but i didn't have time, so...here. have four. :D

01. kisses

Renji has never been a soft or especially tactile man. His hands are rough and callused from years of training with a blade, his tongue sharp from growing up on the streets, and his face often drawn into a scowl for no particular reason. He has been known to accidentally break delicate things with his strong hands, and when he claps a friend on the back, he sometimes leaves unintentional bruises. Thankfully his friends know him well and his often harsh words and inadvertent impertinence rarely hurt feelings.

It's not that he's overly brutish, really--more that he's just so much bigger than most of his company that he forgot how easily he could damage them without really meaning to. He's given Kira more than his fair share of bruised shoulders, and he's always a little worried to spar with Hinamori after nearly breaking her tiny hands a few times with his practice sword back at the academy.

But with Rukia he is gentle, always. Not because he views her as fragile or particularly breakable (though he does acknowledge that she is very small), but because there is something about her tiny shoulders and dainty hands and those big ash-blue eyes of her that makes him want to be careful and mild. Oh, certainly, his mouth is no less foul when he speaks to her (they call each other idiots so very affectionately), nor his hands any less coarse when he touches her (in fact, she's been known to kick his ass on occasion when they spar, and this usually prompts him to cuff her fondly upside the head), but when no one else is around, he sloughs off the outermost layer of his decidedly thuggish veneer and the scowl fades a little. When he touches her face, his fingers are light on her skin, and he cradles her jaw like glass when he kisses her.

02. addicted to you

Sometimes she drops by his office unannounced because she knows he hates the quiet of a long workday. Sometimes she brings lunch, other times not. Sometimes she natters at him, sometimes just being in the same room is enough. Sometimes they bicker just for the sake of bickering, because neither one of them really knows what to do with silence. And sometimes it really makes all the difference between a good day and a bad one.

"You shouldn't eat so fast; you'll get a stomachache," she chides him today, wagging one slim finger at his head as he shoves another taiyaki into his mouth (head-first. Eating them from the tail up seems like a cruel and unusual slow death for the pastry, in his mind).

"You always say that," he complains in return, wiping a glob of the custardy filling from the corner of his mouth and giving her a sour look as he shuffles through the papers on his desk, "and yet it never happens."

She looks at him sidelong, one eye narrowed. "Well maybe you should cut back on the sweets anyway," she continues, mostly just being incorrigible now. "That's your fourth one in an hour."

"And?" he counters, popping the last piece of the confection into his mouth and sucking on one fingertip pointedly. "You sayin' I'm gonna get fat?"

She arches one eyebrow and rises to her feet, approaching the desk and resting her hands on the top of it, leaning forward to give him a very serious look.

"I'm saying I think perhaps you have a problem, Renji," she says, still feigning severity but trying very hard not to laugh. She reaches out and grabs one of the pastries from the box he bought from one of the street vendors off the main road that cut through the center of Seireitei. "Your enslavement to the taiyaki is reaching an unhealthy level."

He defiantly takes another pastry from the box and nibbles on the fish's head.

"Is this an intervention?" he demands, and there's something almost coy in his eyes then. Almost. Far be it from Abarai Renji to be flirtatious--the man barely knows how. "I can quit any time."

Her hands slap the desktop audibly, sending a few of his papers rustling. "Spoken like a true addict!" she accuses, a grin in her voice though valiantly absent from her features. She jabs her hand toward him, the taiyaki caught in her fingers as she shakes it at his nose. "I refuse to watch you continue to degenerate."

Renji snaps a hand up faster than she can recoil and grabs her wrist, and she squeaks in alarm as he squeezes his fingers around her hand. He tugs her forward impulsively and rises to his feet all in one motion, leaning over the desk and across her shoulder to confide in her ear, "Then it's a good thing the one thing I can't give up is you, now isn't it?"

And as quickly as he grabbed her, he has released her, dropping back into his chair to leave her leaning forward, unbalanced, over the desk, the taiyaki dangling from her fingers and a flush blooming pink across the bridge of her nose. He goes back to his paperwork as if nothing happened, and she moves silently back to the couch in the office, staring at the taiyaki in her hands a moment before shoving the fish's head in her mouth spitefully. He just grins without lifting his head, and she glowers.

"Idiot," she growls.

But maybe she won't scold him for this particular addiction.

03. candy

They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, and Abarai Renji is really no exception. It is no secret that Renji has a sweet tooth; anyone who has spent any time in the man's company can attest to this. He loves pastries, always has a bag of hard candies in his desk, and puts enough sugar in his coffee to put a man twice his size into a diabetic coma (it's actually sort of a wonder his teeth haven't rotted out of his head by now).

And so anyone who knows him knows that if they need a favor, it's best to preface the appeal with something sweet. (Granted, Renji is really just a big squishy pushover and couldn't say no to a friend anyway, but it's the thought that counts.) This also goes double for when Renji has inevitably gotten his nose all bent out of shape over something, as he is often wont to do.

Today he's having a bad day. Even a generally genial and easygoing fellow like Renji is not impervious to a bad day. He overslept this morning, and the woven strap on his left waraji broke on his way to the office, sending him stumbling rather spectacularly out of shunpo and right into the dusty road. He has received no less than four papercuts since he started on his duties for the day, and worse yet, someone has not only used the last of the tea (Byakuya will have their head, he has no doubt), but they've polished off the last of the sugar in the break room, and so his coffee is bitter and leaves him making wretched faces as he forces it down.

Renji spends his lunch break seething, viciously hacking at his bentou and actually splintering one of his chopsticks in the process, driving a wicked sliver of bamboo straight into his finger. With a yowl that is much more of exasperation than pain, Renji snaps to his feet and stalks out of the office, pausing long enough to snarl at Byakuya that he'll be out for the rest of his lunch hour.

When he returns, his mood is little improved. In fact, it might be worse. He tried to get the splinter out of his skin and only succeeded in making his entire finger throb terribly (the splinter remaining stubbornly embedded in his flesh), and the taiyaki vendor was closed for the weekend. Storming back into his office, Renji flops down into his chair and scowls balefully at the stack of paperwork on his desk (surely waiting to eagerly add to his papercut count).

His eyes slide to the left of the stack of papers then, and the ire is swept off his face with a wave of brief disorientation as he notes that there is a small box situated on the desk that was not there when he left. It's not wrapped but for a single white ribbon around the entire thing, tied in a precise, tight bow. With a frown, he reaches for it (gingerly, so as not to aggravate the splinter in his hand), tugs the bow undone, and lifts the lid off the box.

A crooked smile crawls over his face then as he sees the contents of the box: a haphazard pile of small (slightly burnt-looking), vaguely rabbit-shaped chocolates. There is no note, no signature, no explanation, but there really doesn't need to be. He's forgotten it's the fourteenth--he often does. (He never forgets next month's fourteenth, but he often loses track of February.)

Popping one of the candies in his mouth (they are burnt...but...they were last year, too), he just shakes his head, digs a band-aid out of his desk, and goes back to his paperwork. Maybe the rest of the day won't be so bad after all.

04. Blush

Neither of them is prone to fluster, really. They grew up with far too much opposition and resistance to really let much of anything get to them. But romance has always evaded them as well, even after all this time. Renji's always been a rather fetching fellow, with his broad shoulders and contagious laugh, his sly grin and his genial nature. He's had his share of admirers over the years. Likewise Rukia, with her classic beauty and her big, captivating eyes, her strong, slender hands and air of confidence, has always had a follower or two in her day. Her status as an unwed member of the Kuchiki family didn't hurt that either. And neither of them ever paid these distant affections much mind. Any dating on Renji's part was recreational and rarely lasted long, and any courting of Rukia's hand was brushed off, albeit politely, with a graceful wave of those delicate fingers of hers.

It is at the softer, more gossamer things in life that they fumble. Yes, as adept as the two are at combat, kidou, zanjutsu or otherwise, they are both mostly gauche with affection. Renji's words are clumsy and his hand is adhered to the back of his neck whenever the subject of sentimentality is brought to the table, and Rukia's touch is inelegant and her eyes averted when her fingers move to thread into his. Her fair, milky skin is almost white against the darker almost olivey tone of his hands, and as he glances down to look at the braid of their fingers together, his eyes widen a little, and then he glances away with a soft bluster.

Her pale face reddens, though she often initiates the contact, and she always keeps her face low and the fingers of her free hand over the bridge of her nose until someone speaks. And somehow once the silence is broken then it's okay, and her blush fades, and they can move on with their lives.

He never blushes, but his ears are known to turn pink at the edges, and he always makes sure to wear a particularly bright and gaudy bandanna whenever he makes plans to meet Rukia outside of work.

[fic] Beyond Good and Evil: Chapter 36 - Dreamin' of You

Thu, 25 Dec 2008 21:58:51 GMT

Title: Beyond Good and Evil; 36. – Dreamin' of You
Authors: aenigmadarai and kawree
Pairing[s]: Reno/Tifa, and some hints of Tseng/Elena. Some one-sided Cloud/Tifa, a dash of blink-and-you'll-miss-it Rosalind/Tseng, and maybe some eventual Yuffie/Cloud if the planets align properly.
Rating: R for some chapters which will contain graphic imagery.
Summary: In which In which there is subterfuge and cruelty to electronics.
[Chapter Directory]

( while everyone is chasing their dreams... )

IT'S DONE!

Fri, 28 Nov 2008 10:29:02 GMT

so i finally finished that massive essay on my theory about Axel. for those of you who have been waiting for it since like...friggin...March,

HERE YOU GO!

and for those of you who have no idea what i'm talking about...my theories. let me show you them. it's just like...two enormous posts' worth of me theorizing on KH characters. >.>; i have a life. i promise. *cough*

[fic] Beyond Good and Evil: Chapter 35 - Jet Pack

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 00:38:57 GMT

Title: Beyond Good and Evil; 35. – Jet Pack
Authors: aenigmadarai and kawree
Pairing[s]: Reno/Tifa, and some hints of Tseng/Elena. Some one-sided Cloud/Tifa, a dash of blink-and-you'll-miss-it Rosalind/Tseng, and maybe some eventual Yuffie/Cloud if the planets align properly.
Rating: R for some chapters which will contain graphic imagery.
Summary: In which Reno gives us his thoughts on yaoi.
[Chapter Directory]

( So the way you act, is it just an act...? )

BC Rescue Scripts: Rod and Gun

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 02:26:22 GMT

i've had these done for ages and never posted them. huh. oops. i love the rescue scripts, because as small as they are, they really do a nice job of illustrating the relationships between the characters involved. the scripts for everybody gets kinda long, so i'll post these in pairs.

these all start out the same way, with a little intro where Tseng gives you your mission orders. these little opening spiels don't really change much depending on what character you are playing:

Tseng: [Playable character]! What's the current status?
Playable Turk: I've arrived at the point of entry.
Tseng: Good. Then begin the retrieval. Find [other character] and get [him/her] out of there. [He/She] was taken to the jail after being apprehended--it's within the inner banquet hall. You know how to get inside, right?
Playable Turk: [you can choose yes or no here, and i suppose trigger a tutorial if you say no, but we'll go with a resounding] Of course, sir.
Tseng: Once you've gotten inside, all correspondence between us will be cut off. You'll be on your own. Bring [other character] back without fail.
Playable Turk: Roger!

Andrew (Rod)
Rosalind (Gun)

Andrew: Yo, Roz!
Rosalind: Andrew...
Andrew: Well aren't you just the saddest thing I ever saw...
Rosalind: I'm sorry. I've inconvenienced everyone.
Andrew: Nah--just be more careful next time, okay?
Rosalind: Thank you so much.
Andrew: No worries. [he gets her free] All right, let's blow this popsicle stand. [you know he'd say something like that...]

[you escape]

Andrew: Escape mission, successful!
Rosalind: Andrew, I...thank you.
Andrew: Hey, this is my job, too, you know? More importantly though, you gotta be more careful.
Rosalind: Of course. I won't make the same mistake twice.
Andrew: Catch you later!
Rosalind: Take care, Andrew!

Rafe (Two Guns)

Andrew: Yo, Rafe!
Rafe: Andrew? The hell'd you come for?
Andrew: Oh, you know...I just decided, "Hey, I'm'a go help that dummy Rafe out".
Rafe: ...Heh, sorry for the trouble.
Andrew: --The hell? That ain't like you, man.
Rafe: I really screwed up this time.
Andrew: Yeah, well, that's part of your charm. C'mon, let's blow this popsicle stand.

[you escape]

Andrew: Escape mission, successful!
Rafe: Andrew--sorry for the hassle.
Andrew: Hey, this is my job too, you know? It was nothin', really. Don't mention it.
Rafe: Heh.
Andrew: Catch you later!
Rafe: You be careful!

Samantha (Shotgun)

Andrew: Yo, Sam!
Samantha: Andrew!
Andrew: Shut up, you big dummy! You wanna give us away?
Samantha: I'm not being that loud! In any case...you've come to the right place. Get me outta here!
Andrew: Yeah, yeah, I got it, I got it... But I'm only going through this much trouble because it's you.
Samantha: ...What...did you just say?
Andrew: Er--nothing. Come on, let's blow this popsicle stand.

[you escape]

Andrew: Escape mission, successful! Okay, now don't you do anything rash from here on out, you hear me?
Samantha: Yeah, I know. And don't you get caught going back, either! Although...if you got caught, then I'd get to rescue you! So I guess it's all good.
Andrew: Pfff, as if I'd get caught. Catch you later!
Samantha: Arrivederci~~ [she actually just uses a kinda outdated and silly way of saying goodbye in Japanese, sort of like saying, "farewell~~", but i think this suits her somehow. XD]

Cyr (Grappler Female)

Andrew: Yo, Cyr!
Cyr: Andrew! Why have you come?
Andrew: Thought I'd come give you a hand.
Cyr: ...My apologies. To think that I could have been so careless...!
Andrew: Don't worry too much; just be more careful next time. I'm gonna get you out now.
Cyr: I'll repay you for this someday.
Andrew: No worries. All right, let's blow this popsicle stand. [it never gets old!]

[you escape]

Andrew: Escape mission, successful!
Cyr: Andrew, I really owe you one.
Andrew: I already told you not to worry about it. This is what we do--you don't have to repay me for it.
Cyr: In any case, thanks for saving me.
Andrew: I just did it 'cuz I wanted to. Catch you later!
Cyr: In that case, I shall pray for your good fortune in the future. [XD Y SO CYRIOUS?]

Durman (Grappler Male)

Andrew: Yo, old man Durman!
Durman: Andrew!
Andrew: Well aren't you just the saddest thing I ever saw...
Durman: Uwhaaaagh! I'm so worthless! I can't believe how pathetic I am!
Andrew: Jeez, chill out, would ya? You're gonna get me thrown in there with you, you keep making that racket. Calm down; I'm gonna get you outta there.
Durman: O-of course. Sorry for panicking; I'm in your debt.
Andrew: No worries. C'mon, let's blow this popsicle stand.

[you escape]

Andrew: Escape mission, successful!
Durman: You really saved me back there.
Andrew: Hey, this is my job too, you know? Besides, we can't have the old man all down in the dumps.
Durman: R-really? Er--yeah, you're right! Time for my battle cry!! [wtf Durman's ridiculous!]
Andrew: That's the spirit. Anyway...catch you later!
Durman: Take care!

Adrian (Katana)

Andrew: Yo, Adrian! [/Rocky Balboa]
Adrian: Hey, Andrew! Fancy meeting you here. What's up?
Andrew: Well, I was in the neighborhood; thought I'd drop by.
Adrian: Well thanks for thinking of me.
Andrew: The hell'd you get caught anyhow? That ain't like you at all!
Adrian: I thought it might be nice to give it a try just once. Besides, the view from this window in here is quite splendid.
Andrew: Composed, aren't we. All right, let's get going.

[you escape]

Andrew: Escape mission, successful!
Adrian: Always a pleasure to see you in action, Andrew.
Andrew: Likewise, you always seem to enjoy yourself when fighting.
Adrian: Well, my sword is my pride, after all. I like to use it whenever I get the chance.
Andrew: I guess so. You watch yourself, okay? Don't get careless. Catch you later!
Adrian: Right--'til next time!

Tegwin/Cissnei (Shuriken)

Andrew: Yo, Tegwin!
Tegwin: Andrew!
Andrew: Well aren't you just the saddest thing I ever saw...
Tegwin: Oh hush. Leave off, would you?
Andrew: Well, if you're gonna be pissy about it, I guess I'll just go home.
Tegwin: Aa--! Hey, wait a second! I'm sorry! ...Thanks for coming after me.
Andrew: You shoulda just said that from the start. C'mon, let's blow this popsicle stand.

[you escape]

Andrew: Escape mission, successful!
Tegwin: Phew! Made it. You're pretty scary when you get serious.
Andrew: Well, it helps. And what about you? You don't even seem winded!
Tegwin: Don't put me in the same category as you--I've been doing this way longer than you have. It's all about composure.
Andrew: Well if that's the case, don't friggin' get caught next time. [XD smartass.] Anyway...I'll catch you later!
Tegwin: Yeah, yeah, you watch yourself, rookie! Thanks for your help!

Alex [i always wanna write this 'Axel' wtf] (Nunchaku)

Andrew: Yo, Alex!
Alex: Andrew...
Andrew: What's with you? Lookin' kinda pitiful.
Alex: Who me? Nah, I was just messin' with you.
Andrew: I'm'a get you outta there now.
Alex: Sorry to bother you.
Andrew: Eh, no worries. C'mon, let's blow this popsicle stand.

[you escape]

Andrew: Escape mission, successful!
Alex: Sorry for being such a bother...
Andrew: Seriously, don't worry about it. This is my job too, you know? Just don't get caught again.
Alex: Of course!
Andrew: Catch you later!
Alex: You be careful, Andrew!

no scripts up yet for Andrew rescuing Charlie (Legend) or Val (Knife) yet... but apparently you can rescue yourself, which i'm sure violates some fundamental law of physics somewhere... for the sake of not being really confusing we'll just call the clone Rod.

Andrew: Yo, Rod!
Rod: Andrew...
Andrew: Well aren't you just the saddest thing I ever saw...
Rod: Shut up! This is just a minor setback!
Andrew: Oh? Well if that's all, then I'm sure you won't have any problems not getting caught again.
Rod: ...Thanks for your help...
Andrew: No worries. C'mon, let's blow this popsicle stand.

[you escape]

Andrew: Escape mission, successful!
Rod: Er...so...about saving me...erm...thanks. [he actually says サンキューな and it's adorkable]
Andrew: Yeah, yeah, just don't get caught next time.
Rod: Yeah, I won't make that mistake again.
Andrew: Catch you later!
Rod: You be careful, too!

Rosalind (Gun)
Andrew (Rod)

Rosalind: Andrew.
Andrew: Roz!
Rosalind: Shh~ (whisper) Don't raise your voice. I've come to get you out of here.
Andrew: Sorry for the trouble. Guh! I'm pathetic!
Rosalind: Please don't worry about it. You'd do the same for any of us. Come on, now, let's head back, and be careful not to be seen!
Andrew: Aa. Let's hurry.

[you escape]

Rosalind: We made it; it's all clear from here.
Andrew: Roz, thanks for comin' to my rescue.
Rosalind: We're nakama, aren't we? I'll always come to your rescue. [sadhlkcjghakjdh D'AWW!]
Andrew: Heh, well, I won't be screwing up like that again, so...
Rosalind: Just as well, I suppose. We part ways here. You take care, Andrew!
Andrew: You too, Roz. Seeya!

Rafe

Rosalind: Rafael. [wtf -san? with Rafe? i think i'll take this as she calls him by his full name instead of his nick, which is also probably irritating. XD]
Rafe: Roz?
Rosalind: Shh~ (whisper) Please don't raise your voice. I've come to get you out of here.
Rafe: You shouldn't have come. Just get out of here before you get caught.
Rosalind: I'm not leaving you. Come on, we'll escape together.
Rafe: ...Understood. Let's hurry!

[you escape]

Rosalind: We made it; it's all clear from here.
Rafe: Thanks, Roz; I owe you one.
Rosalind: We're nakama, aren't we? I'll always come to your rescue. [seriously, Roz is so fucking cute.]
Rafe: Nakama...? Heh.
Rosalind: We part ways here, Rafael. Please make sure to be careful from here on.
Rafe: You too, Roz. Catch you later!

Samantha (shotgun)

Rosalind: Samantha. [again with the -san, so it's full names]
Samantha: Roz!!
Rosalind: Shh~ (whisper) Don't raise your voice. I've come to get you out of here.
Samantha: Well you've come to the right place! My hero~ I'm gonna tell the boss about how awesome you are~~
Rosalind: You really don't have to go that far. After all, you'd do the same for any of us.
Samantha: Well, of course you're right. Well, as thanks, I'll protect you the whole way back to base!
Rosalind: Thank you, but I think so long as we get out undetected it won't be necessary. [i'm sure she's making a f^_^;;; face right now] Let's go!

[you escape]

Rosalind: We made it; it's all clear from here.
Samantha: Thanks for this. Be careful not to be captured on your way back! But...well, if you do get captured, then I can come to your rescue, so it's all good.
Rosalind: [LOL] I'll look forward to it...but I'll endeavor not to get captured nonetheless.
Samantha: Yes, that's probably best.
Rosalind: This is where we part ways.
Samantha: Yup. Arrivederci~~

Cyr (Grappler Female)

Rosalind: Cyrielle. [-san = full names. again.]
Cyr: Roz? Why have you come?
Rosalind: Shh~ (whisper) Please don't raise your voice. I've come to get you out of here.
Cyr: ...My apologies. To think that I could have been so careless...!
Rosalind: Please don't worry about it. You would do the same for any of us.
Cyr: Isn't that just like you. I'll surely repay you this.
Rosalind: I'm grateful. Come on, let's hurry and get away before we're discovered.

[you escape]

Rosalind: We made it; it's all clear from here.
Cyr: Thank you again for your help. I am in your debt.
Rosalind: We're nakama, aren't we? I'll always come to your rescue.
Cyr: I am grateful. I'll make sure not to blunder like this again.
Rosalind: Yes that's best. Anyway...we part ways here. Be careful!
Cyr: I shall pray for your good fortune in the future. [srsly wtf. XD she's so srs.]

Durman (Grappler Male)

Rosalind: Mr. Durman? [damn. Durman is his full name. ready go 'Mister']
Durman: Oh, Roz!
Rosalind: Shh~ (whisper) Please don't raise your voice. I'll help you out now.
Durman: Uwaaaugh! I'm the most worthless wretched thing in the world!
Rosalind: Waugh! Don't say such things! Surely you wouldn't think that of any of us if we were captured! You would come to our rescue!
Durman: You're right. I'm sorry I panicked. Thanks for your help; I'm in your debt.
Rosalind: All right, let's hurry and get out of here. Don't be seen!

[you escape]

Rosalind: We made it; it's all clear from here.
Durman: You really saved me back there.
Rosalind: We're nakama, aren't we? I'll always come to your rescue.
Durman: Well I don't ever wanna get captured again!
Rosalind: Yes, that's probably best. We part ways here. Please watch yourself!
Durman: You too, young lady!

Adrian (Katana)

Rosalind: Mr. Adrian.
Adrian: Hey there Roz! Fancy meeting you here. What's up?
Rosalind: Shh~ (whisper) Please don't raise your voice. I'll help you out now.
Adrian: Oh, well that's quite thoughtful of you; thank you!
Rosalind: Oh, please, think nothing of it. You'd do the same for any of us. I'm surprised, however, that you managed to get caught!
Adrian: I thought it might be nice to give it a try just once. Besides, the view from this window in here is quite splendid.
Rosalind: Isn't that just like you... All right, let's get out of here. Don't be seen!

[you escape]

Rosalind: We made it; it's all clear from here.
Adrian: Always a pleasure to see you in action, Roz.
Rosalind: Just proving my mettle. And likewise, you always seem to enjoy yourself when fighting.
Adrian: Well, my sword is my pride, after all. I like to use it whenever I get the chance.
Rosalind: Just make sure you're not too reckless with it. Anyway, this is where we part ways. Please watch yourself!
Adrian: Right--'til next time!

Tegwin/Cissnei (Shuriken)

Rosalind: Miss Tegwin. [so Andrew is the only one she doesn't use an honorific with? how cute!]
Tegwin: Roz!
Rosalind: Shh~ (whisper) Please don't raise your voice. I'll help you out now.
Tegwin: What do you think you're doing!? Sneaking into a place like this is dangerous!
Rosalind: Waugh! I'm well aware of the risks! Please don't concern yourself; you'd have done the same if it were any of us.
Tegwin: You're right; my apologies. Thank you for your help.
Rosalind: Come on, let's hurry before we're seen!

[you escape]

Rosalind: We made it; it's all clear from here.
Tegwin: Phew! We made it! Roz, you really fight with everything you've got, huh? [the phrase here was actually 短銃(女)のナビは心強かったわ...but i have no idea what ナビ is, so i just kinda went with the general feel of what was being said. O_o any takers?]
Rosalind: Thank you. But, we're nakama, right? So...I will always come to help you if you need it.
Tegwin: Well hopefully I won't be needing any more rescues anytime soon.
Rosalind: Let's hope so. Well, this is where we part ways. Please watch yourself!
Tegwin: Thank you again! You be careful, too!

Alex (Nunchaku)

Rosalind: Alexander. [full names again.]
Alex: Roz?
Rosalind: Rosalind: Shh~ (whisper) Please don't raise your voice. I've come to help you.
Alex: Aha...sorry. I just saw your face and was so filled with joy!
Rosalind: [O_o;;;] Thank you. Come on, let's get out of here!
Alex: Indeed. Let's hurry!

[you escape]

Rosalind: We made it; it's all clear from here.
Alex: Roz, thanks for your help; sorry for the trouble.
Rosalind: We're nakama, aren't we? I'll always come to your rescue. [asdgkjghd CUTE. EVERY. TIME.]
Alex: I'm all right now. I won't make such a mistake again.
Rosalind: Well, this is where we part ways. Alexander, be safe!
Alex: You too, Roz. See you around!

again no scripts for Charlie or Val... >/ but we have Roz saving herself.

Rosalind: Gun. [she doesn't call her twin -san...]
Gun: Roz!?
Rosalind: Rosalind: Shh~ (whisper) Please don't raise your voice. I've come to help you.
Gun: I'm sorry. I've inconvenienced everyone.
Rosalind: Please don't worry about it. You'd do the same for any of us. [because you're me wtf XD]
Gun: Thank you. (I surely won't be making the same mistake again.) [i dunno if that means she whispered this or thought it.)
Rosalind: Come on, now, let's head back, and be careful not to be seen!

[you escape]

Rosalind: We made it; it's all clear from here.
Gun: Thank you, Roz.
Rosalind: We're nakama, aren't we? I'll always come to your rescue.
Gun: I won't get caught again.
Rosalind: Yes, that's best. Well, this is where we part ways. Take care of yourself, Gun.
Gun: You too, Roz. See you soon!

[fic] Bleach - Taking Lessons

Sun, 07 Sep 2008 06:58:57 GMT

Title: Taking Lessions
Author: kawree
Fandom: Bleach
Request: For nizlaili's REQUEST on fic_on_demand. I don't usually do requests or gift fic...mostly because I fail at deadlines and actually getting them done, but I'd been trying to write some Bleach fic for a while and kept coming up with no ideas...and this request piqued my interest. Because predictable cat is predictable, and I do love gruff jerkfacey boys with hearts of gold. :D I hated the Bount Arc, and the built-up dynamic between Jinta and Renji was really the only thing I watched it for. >:[
Summary: Returning to Urahara's shop after running some evening errands, Renji and Jinta find themselves taking a somewhat unexpected detour. And that's before they realize a Hollow has decided to follow them home.
Word Count: 7,670; Oneshot. This wound up being like twice as long as I was planning on. O_o;;;
Warnings: Just some cursing--a few f-bombs. Nothing you don't hear on the school bus anyhow.

"Are you sure we're not lost?"

"No, for the last time, we are not lost."

"Then why have we passed the same corner three times?"

Renji paused in his steps and hefted the paper bag of groceries he held in his long arms, and then twisted to scowl down at the small red-haired child at his hip. "You didn't have to come with me, you know," he griped, his eyes narrow and his lip curled in distaste.

Jinta folded his arms gruffly over his chest and harrumphed, turning away and lifting his chin. "Well I had to make sure you didn't just run off and shirk your duties," the boy replied. "Someone has to make sure things get done properly."

Renji rolled his eyes and started forward again. "Right, like your little girlfriend," he grumbled under his breath. Then he yelped when a blast of pain erupted in his left shin. "Oi! You little brat--the fuck was that for?" he squawked, leaning over to rub the bruise now forming on his knee where he'd been kicked.

"She's not my girlfriend!" Jinta snarled, and Renji made a horrid face at him.

"Well it's no wonder!" he snapped back, yelling over the top of the grocery bag; "you treat her like a dog!"

"I do not!" Jinta refuted without any further compelling evidence, and Renji just growled at the boy like it might intimidate him into agreeing with him.

It was a crime the way Jinta picked on poor Ururu, making her do all the sweeping and never helping out when she was straightening up around the shop. Ururu insisted that Jinta was only joking, and never really meant any harm, but Renji wasn't entirely convinced. He'd seen that the girl was no pushover--not in her Ultra Spooky Attack-Zombie Genocide Mode, anyway--so why didn't she ever push back when Jinta got crappy with her? Ugh. He would never understand the way girls thought.

"You do so," Renji snapped finally, and set the bag of groceries down on the sidewalk, one hand on his hip and the other gesturing widely at the sidewalk. "Fine, Mr. Genius, maybe we are lost. I don't live around here, I live in another dimension; do you know how to get back?"

Jinta harrumphed again. "Of course I do!" he insisted, and thrust one arm out, pointing to their left. "The shop is this way!"

"Fine!" Renji barked, picking up the bag again. "Then you lead the way, you little knowitall!"

"Fine! Maybe I will!" Jinta snapped, and stalked ahead, scowling horribly as he walked, Renji making faces at the back of his head as he followed.

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!!"

Renji seethed. Damn...fuckin'...kid! He'd been nothing but a pain in the ass the whole time Renji had been staying with Urahara, despite how helpful and obliging he had been. He'd offered to help out with all the chores around the shop in exchange for room and board (well, he'd kinda been guilted into it, actually...), and he'd even said he'd help train Sado if Urahara would answer some of his questions (well, he'd mostly been roped into it, but same difference). He had been 100% pleasant and agreeable and polite and Jinta had done little but make fun of him the whole time (even if he had kinda deserved it when he'd been cocky and dropped that heavy shipment box on his foot yesterday). All in all it was really getting old.

Jinta fumed. What the hell was that stupid freeloader's problem anyhow? He'd done nothing but complain ever since he had gotten to town. He slept in all the time (well, he had been out late a few nights sending Hollows), he ate way more than his share at dinner (well, only that one time. Every other time he didn't have seconds...and he'd looked pretty guilty anyway. He was also like three times as big as the others--the guy musta been like nine feet tall!), and he never helped with the sweeping (but he had moved all of those really heavy boxes in the back room yesterday...). Well, either way, Jinta was really tired of his attitude.

It was really frustrating, actually; Renji had seen that the kid wasn't a total jerk. When a group of Arrancar had descended upon the town the other night, Ururu had gone into her crazy zombie-mode and gotten herself stabbed, and Jinta had actually come to her aid. He'd been pretty brave, too, whacking the Arrancar right on the head with his giant...well, whatever the hell it was he fought with. It hadn't been the most successful of rescue missions--were it not for Hihiou Zabimaru, Jinta would have been a kebab!--but the kid wasn't all jerk.

It was infuriating, to be honest. Jinta knew the guy wasn't a complete loser. Despite his gruff demeanor and short temper, he seemed like a decent guy. And he was really strong. He'd been watching him fight that monster guy with the bull mask, and it had seemed at first like he was gonna lose like...well, like a giant loser. And then Ururu had gone and screwed everything up by getting shanked...but the freeloader had really come through that time. He had blocked the enemy's attack and had taken a bad hit so he could get away with Ururu. Even if he was rude and lazy and a freeloader, he was...actually pretty cool when he wasn't being a rude lazy freeloader.

But jeez, he was sure being obnoxious. Why couldn't he just act like a normal person and treat other people with respect? Why did it always have to be an argument? Why was it always a fight? Was it so hard for him to just be nice once in a while? Why did he have to act like he knew everything and make it hard for everybody?

The remaining walk was made in silence.

Half an hour of said silence later, there was still no sign of Urahara's shop, and Renji was really starting to get pissed off. Oh, the shop is over this way, is it? You stupid kid, you don't even know, do you? He grunted and hefted the groceries in his arms again, grumbling indecipherably under his breath. Damn kid hadn't even offered to help carry anything. Feh.

Twilight had passed a while ago, and all the purples were bleeding out of the sky to just leave a star-spotted inky indigo overhead. Streetlights were flickering on, filling the air with a soft buzzing noise, like a giant bumblebee was just hovering overhead somewhere. Renji sighed audibly. All right. This had gone on long enough.

"Oi, brat," he called over the bag of groceries; "are we there yet?" He added an intolerant whine to the tone of his voice just for fun. Guh. Why was the kid so obnoxious? Renji liked kids, but something about Urahara's self-proclaimed little second-in-command just really grated on his nerves, and it was a damn shame. The kid had real potential to be cool; he was fierce and brave and pretty clever...but he was just so arrogant and...bad-tempered, like an angry cat. Every time Renji tried talking to him, there was hissing and the fuzzing of fur, and he walked away with scratches across his nose. Why had the kid wanted so badly to tag along to the store in the first place?

Jinta ignored him and just kept walking, scowling. Dammit--why was he such a jerk? Jinta wanted to like him; he was a badass! When he'd released his reiatsu limiter and kicked that bull-guy's tail? Oh man that had been cool. But he was just so irritable and impatient! He was tetchy like an old bear, and Jinta was a little worried that he'd get swatted like a fly by one of his big hands if he bothered trying to make actual conversation. Surely something he said would piss the guy off, and he really wasn't keen on getting flattened. ...Why had he wanted to tag along with him to the store again?

Another few minutes of silence, and Renji was about to open his mouth to prod the kid again--'Are you sure we're not lost?'--when an eerie, echoing cry rang through the night. Halting in mid-stride, Renji turned over his shoulder and squinted, every muscle across his back tensing up. That had been nearby. Big. Heavy. It had sounded an awful lot like...

"Kid. You heard that, right?" he asked, glancing forward again. There was a funny smell in the air...like too-wet earth after too much rain, when tree roots began to rot. It was almost sickeningly sweet and yet acrid all at once. It smelled like death and emptiness; the almost syrupy smell of...

Jinta paused, but didn't turn to look at him. He had heard it, and he was thinking the same thing Renji was. The air smelled funny, and that had sounded an awful lot like--

Another howl, closer this time, and every hair on the back of Renji's neck stood up. Shit--why hadn't he noticed it sooner? Stupid; he'd been so busy being irritated with Jinta he hadn't been paying attention. The spirit energy was strong. Not something to really be worried about, but strong nonetheless. It was approaching from the north. No...wait, the west. No...wait, it was--

"Fuck--!" It was a flyer.

He barely had the time to drop the bag of groceries (dammit, he heard something break. Now he'd have to go back to the store. If they could even find it again) and dive forward as there was a great blast of wind and the shattering of concrete behind him. He landed hard on his left shoulder and grunted as he rolled somewhat clumsily back to his feet. Rrgh, stupid gigai! It was like trying to move through a wall of wet tissue paper. He could still get around just fine, until he had to move quickly. Or gracefully. And then he might as well have been wearing a fat suit. His limbs just wouldn't cooperate like they were supposed to.

Backpedaling and casting one last baleful look at the ruined groceries, he lifted his eyes to see a large, hulking shape shimmer into the shadows of the dimly lit street. It was a Grade-A big-ass flying Hollow, with massive webbed wings like a bat and a huge, hideous bony face, complete with the trademark toothy grin. Renji sighed again. Great. Fantastic, even. Just what he needed to really make his evening complete.

"Kid, get outta here," he ordered, stepping back again and concentrating to try and pull out of the gigai. The damn thing still didn't fit quite right, and trying to separate from it still took longer than it really should have. He was really going to have to talk to Urahara about it one of these days. Jinta pursed his lips, and Renji held up one hand sharply. "Ah--!" he barked. "Don't argue with me. You ain't got your giant baseball bat this time around, so just get outta here. I'll handle this guy."

Just as soon as I get out of this fucking gigai...

Jinta scowled, but moved backward a few paces, his steps hesitant. He still remembered the squirmy feeling in his gut from a few nights ago, when he'd honestly thought that the Arrancar was going to win and Renji was going to die. Somehow, he had that feeling again now, and he didn't like it one bit. And he didn't like that he didn't like it. Why should he have cared anyhow? He was just some stupid freeloader. Fighting Hollows was what Shinigami did, and if the freeloader was too lame to even be able to do his job, well, then it wasn't really Jinta's problem. Yeah, that was right! That was what he was here for, right? Renji was in town to protect it from Hollows, and so there was no way he could possibly be so lame that he couldn't do his job. He always did his job, even though he complained about it. Even when Urahara had asked him to clean the gutters!

"Why are you still here?" Renji snapped, slicing a hand through the air as he managed to separate halfway from the gigai, now looking rather ridiculously like some kind of two-headed monster from a bad science fiction movie. "Get going! I'll be along as soon as I--uwaugh!"

"Isourou!"

Jinta tumbled backward with a wail as the flying Hollow took advantage of Renji's moment of distraction and swiped one of its great wings at them, sending Renji end over end into the air. Jinta scrabbled backward, crab-scuttling across the pavement, watching in alarm as the redhead was slammed into a guardrail along the side of the road with a yelp.

Ow. Ow. Spine...wasn't supposed to bend that way. Renji felt like his entire torso had been crushed in a vice. His breath stolen from him, he fell to the pavement on hands and knees, coughing, and then realized that the impact had not only knocked the wind out of him, but it had knocked him quite cleanly out of that wretched gigai. Oh! Well that made things a little easier. Gritting his teeth, he shoved the lifeless faux body beneath the bent guardrail with one foot, and then coughed again.

"Get up, you dumbass!" he heard Jinta shout, and he lifted his head to glance at the boy. Then he slowly lifted his arm, his hand, and finally his middle finger.

"Didn't I tell you to get the fuck outta here?" he shouted back.

"You're not the boss of me," Jinta rebutted, and Renji rolled his eyes.

Damn kids. Fine. He'd just have to get rid of the Hollow before the Hollow could make another attack. Shouldn't have been too hard. Now that he was out of that blasted gigai and he could move more freely, this would be a snap. Renji wasn't a lieutenant for nothing (even though he'd only been a lieutenant for less than a year); he'd beaten a fucking Arrancar (barely), and there was no way he was going to be taken down by a single stupid Hollow. That bastard Ichigo would never let him hear the end of it!

"Then stay outta the way," Renji growled, a wicked grin on his face as he braced a hand on his thigh and pushed himself back to his feet. Arching his back to straighten himself out, he grit his teeth as several vertebra cracked back into place, and then he quickly snapped his neck from side to side, his right hand falling to the sword at his hip. As the Hollow reeled back for another swipe, Renji drew his sword, the grin never leaving his lips.

Jinta hadn't seen the entire fight that night with the Arrancar--he'd scrambled up onto the roof a good ten minutes into the commotion, and by then Renji had already released his bankai and still appeared to be losing. But suddenly the boy wasn't so certain about his supposition that Renji was just a lazeabout. Oh, sure, the guy had kicked the Arrancar's ass that night...but not without consequence. He'd come back to the shop all sorts of bloody, with a haunted look in his eyes and a heaviness on his presence. It had been sobering, if nothing else, to see him so...serious. He was a grump, but there was usually an air of absurdity about him that made Jinta never quite able to take him seriously. But there was no absurdity tonight. No silliness, no faux bravado--this was all real. The glint in Renji's dark eyes was fiendish and confident, proud and wicked and strong, and Jinta just sort of stared. He watched as Renji moved with an almost liquid grace, drawing his zanpakutou and gliding the palm of his hand down the spine of the sword. The slender blade seemed to transform beneath his hand, into gunmetal-grey and silver sectioned pieces, each with a wicked-looking spike. Renji's smile was predatory.

"Hoero, Zabimaru!"

He drew his arm back and snapped it forward again, and the sword reacted like water, flowing fluidly with his movement and extending forward like a whip, the sections splitting apart, bone and fiber stretching between them. Jinta just sort of gaped, watching the spiked segments of the blade fly toward the great Hollow. One, two, three successive strikes, and the creature howled as its bone-white flesh tore beneath the blades. Renji recoiled, snapping the sword back into place and pausing a moment to survey the damage.

The Hollow roared in pain, great rivers of inky blue-black blood pouring down its body, and it reeled, its mighty wings kicking up gusts of wind and dust from the road. Renji shielded his eyes from the dirt, and then gasped when the Hollow seemed to vanish from sight, shimmering away into the dust it kicked up with its wings.

"What the--?" He stepped backward, scanning the road, the sky, but the Hollow seemed to have vanished into thin air. Had it flown away? Fled the scene to recover and come back another night? ...No. That couldn't be right. He could still feel it, could still smell it; the damn thing hadn't gone anywhere, it had simply concealed itself from sight somehow. It had suppressed its spirit energy as well--Renji could barely feel it now, but it was definitely still there. Tricky bastard, it was smarter than he'd thought. "...Shit," he grunted, resting his sword on his shoulder and trying to hone in on the monster's reiatsu. If he could pinpoint its location, maybe he could hit it while it still thought it had the advanta--

"That was awesome!"

Renji gave a start when a voice broke into his concentration, and he snapped his head to the side in time to see Jinta emerge from where he'd been crouched in the alley between two closed shops on the far side of the road. Stupid! Couldn't the kid still feel the Hollow nearby?

"Kid, get back!" he hollered, swiping his free hand through the air and making a fist. "The Hollow is still nearby; go home! I don't care if I ain't the boss'a you; your boss'll have my ass if you get--"

Before Renji could finish his sentence, there was a deafening screech from above, and another great gust of wind. Above! It was the same technique the damn thing had used when it had first caught them off-guard--concealing its reiatsu and approaching unseen from above! It could cloak itself against the night sky?

Renji grit his teeth and uttered several colorful curses under his breath as he dashed forward, watching in something like horrified slow-motion as Jinta realized what had happened. The boy's big eyes widened in fear as the shadow of a great shape he couldn't see blocked the light from the streetlamp overhead, casting his body into shadow. Another unearthly screech raised gooseflesh on the boy's skin, and he raised both his arms into a crossblock in front of his face, his hands fisted and his eyes squeezed closed. He had no weapon, he had no nothing, and his feet wouldn't move--his feet wouldn't move! In the end, he really was just a kid--a kid who usually had a big weapon to hide behind; a kid with a big mouth, a big ego, and nothing to back it up with empty hands.

The wind was fierce and the dust in the air stung his arms, and Jinta cringed, waiting for the same impact that had sent Renji flying before, waiting to be sent tumbling through the air, limbs twisted and bones broken.

But the impact never came. Instead, there was a grunt, the sickening sound of metal on bone, and Jinta opened one eye hesitantly. He gasped audibly.

"I-Isou...rou?"

"Why don't you ever fucking listen, you stupid brat??" Renji snarled over his shoulder as he braced Zabimaru with both hands, holding back the Hollow's massive tail. "Are you trying to make me look incompetent??"

And suddenly Jinta took back every mean thing he'd ever said or thought about Renji. Maybe he acted like a freeloader, and maybe he slept in too much, but as the boy stood there, watching the Shinigami's powerful arms shake as he held back the creature, Jinta thought to himself that maybe he hadn't been giving him enough credit where it was due.

"Are you gonna run or am I gonna have to tango with this thing?" Renji barked, and Jinta jerked out of his trance.

"Ah...right!" he cried, and whirled on his heel, turning and running as fast as his legs would take him down the abandoned length of road.

Renji grit his teeth and shook his head. Stupid kid! Staring off into space like he had all the time in the world. With a roar, Renji shoved the Hollow back with all his strength, shifting Zabimaru's hilt in his grip and slashing for the beast's tail again. When the Hollow had made to attack, Renji had seen the tactic it had used--clever bastard! The thing was built rather like a sea ray, with a wide, triangular body and barely any legs to speak of. But its tail was long and powerful, with a heavy spaded barb on the end. It wasn't that the thing could actually cloak itself, it was that its underbelly could change color, like a chameleon. When it launched itself into the air, all of the exposed belly had shifted color to match the inky sky above. The only reason Renji had known where the damn thing was was the fact that he'd left it bleeding, and the sickly stench of Hollow blood was unmistakable. A great gust of wind from the things massive wings created a dust cloud that concealed its descent, and then a single thrust from its tail would impale its victim.

"You think you're real smart, don't'cha?" Renji taunted, grinning toothily at the beast as it regrouped, flapping its enormous wings and kicking up dust. "Can't fool me twice; I'm onto you." He swirled Zabimaru around his hand and chortled darkly. "Come on, then!" he shouted, jumping backward and lifting his sword to strike. "Come and get me!"

Jinta's heart raced as he ran, his hands fisted and his legs pumping as fast as they would go. He had to get back to the shop--had to get his tetsubou. He wasn't just going to run away like a coward; he was going to go and get his weapon and come back and help, because he was a man, too, and just leaving that dumb moocher all alone to run home and be safe would make him a pansy. Rounding a corner, Jinta scraped to a halt and spun in a circle. Aw, jeez, they'd really gotten completely turned around, hadn't they? Where the hell was he?

He checked the little metal streetmarker plate on the side of a building, then made a sibilant sound through his teeth. Crap, the shop was a good eight blocks from here; it would take him upwards of ten minutes just to get there. By the time he got his tetsubou and got back to where Renji was fighting, it would be too late and the fight would be over, and Jinta would have looked like a stupid coward.

"Che!"

With a snarl, the boy spun on his heel and ran back in the other direction, back toward where he'd left the scene of the altercation. Hurdling over a low fence, he dashed through a small park area, his big eyes scanning the ground for--aha! There we go. Wrapping his small hands around a heavy tree branch that had broken off during a lightning storm last week, Jinta hefted the stick over his shoulder and darted back out into the street.

He wasn't about to let the stupid freeloader take all the credit, after all.

With a grunt, Renji bent at one knee and lunged backward as the Hollow screeched, sending resonating shivers through the length of his zanpakutou and down his arms. He dodged across the road and tumbled into the grassy area beyond the street as the creature's tail slammed into the pavement again, leaving a heavy dent in the asphalt.

Dammit...his movements were getting slow, and he was breathing heavily. The damn thing had still had a trick up its sleeves after all, it seemed; Renji glared down at the blood on his arm, the slash in his sleeve, the gash in his skin below his left deltoid. The barb on the Hollow's tail...it was poisoned, wasn't it? That was the only explanation for his sudden sluggishness--there was no way he should have been this tired so soon. His head was swimming faintly, his eyes sliding in and out of focus. He hadn't lost nearly enough blood to be this slow; the damn thing had fucking poisoned him.

Shit, he lamented, sidling around to the backside of a picnic table and taking to a knee a moment. Dammit, he wasn't going to just go down here. Seriously, Ichigo would make fun of him forever, and more than that, he wasn't about to just trust Rukia's well-being to that hotheaded idiot. Bad enough she was sleeping in his closet, he wasn't about to just completely hand her over so easily. Diving forward when the Hollow screeched again and brought its tail down on the picnic table, Renji somersaulted and leapt back to his feet, blood running freely down his arm now, fuzzy greyness pricking at the edges of his vision.

He was going to have to end this quickly.

Holding Zabimaru out in front of him, he took a deep breath and steeled himself, squaring his shoulders and glaring fiercely at the Hollow as it loomed above him. "Wanna piece'a me?" he growled, half a grin tugging at his lips. "Then come and get it! Ban...ka--"

"Isourou!"

"Buh?" Renji was pretty sure all the color drained from his face when he saw Jinta leap through the air, a huge stick poised over his head. ...Oh no. "Kid, what the fuck are you doing??" he howled, watching in slow-motion as Jinta brought the branch down square on top of the Hollow's great triangular head. There was an echoing thwakkkk! sound, and Renji grimaced as the Hollow howled, reeling back and twisting in one fluid motion. Jinta yelped as the sudden movement threw him off-kilter, and one of the Hollow's great wings knocked the boy toward the ground forcefully.

Darting forward, Renji dove to catch the boy before he could slam into the ground, seizing him and twisting to slide painfully across the earth on his back, Jinta clutched to his chest. Grunting, Renji ignored how his body protested painfully, and nabbed the kid by the back of his shirt, hoisting himself upright and yanking the boy to his feet.

"Are you retarded?" Renji cried, releasing Jinta's shirt and staggering a bit where he stood. "You can't defeat that thing with a fuckin' stick."

"I was trying to help!" Jinta snapped back tetchily, folding his arms. The stick was a splintered mess now, having been slammed to the ground by the force of the Hollow's strike. Jinta shivered--if he'd hit the ground going that speed, he'd have broken his back. Or worse! He suddenly felt terribly guilty; Renji probably had a bruise the size of a beach ball on his chest now from where he'd slammed into him instead. "Th...thanks," he grunted, scowling.

Renji shook his head. "Don't thank me yet, kid," he replied, squeezing his eyes closed a moment and trying to regain his equilibrium. Oh God, the whole world was tilted. He took a deep, slow breath through his nose, then waved a hand at Jinta. "Stand back," he ordered; "I got one more shot at this sonovabitch. If this doesn't work, you get outta here, okay?"

"What?" Jinta jumped and squawked rather in the manner of a ferociously irritated parrot. "You want me to just run away?"

Renji grinned over his shoulder, then nodded. "If," he reiterated, and tightened his grip on his sword. He wasn't sure he had the energy to summon bankai anymore; he was feeling pretty woozy. The poison was really slowing him down--what was it? Some kind of neurotoxin? ...Er...no, that probably wasn't right. The spirit-particles that made up his body shouldn't have reacted to traditional mortal poisons. Oh, it didn't really matter in the end, anyway. Whatever the hell it was, it was making it really hard for him to keep his eyes from sliding out of focus, and his breathing was growing erratic. He was going to have to make this last shot really count.

Sorry, Zabimaru, he thought, taking another deep breath; I know you hate this, but...I ain't got much choice, buddy.

Jinta watched Renji slowly reposition his hands on the hilt of his sword, and he scowled at the blood running down the Shinigami's arm. Moron had gotten hurt! And now he expected him to just run off and leave him there to die? What an idiot! Jinta didn't necessarily like him too much, but...he wasn't just gonna leave him there to die alone. Urahara would have been disappointed in him, and Ururu would be upset. Ururu liked Renji; she thought he was silly, and very obliging despite his terse demeanor. Jinta couldn't just not come home with the guy; it would have made her sad! Only jerks made girls sad.

Raising his zanpakutou over his head, Renji let out a roar and then brought the sword down hard, striking the earth with the end of it--"Higa...Zekkou!"--and watching as a burst of bright reddish light illuminated the weapon. There was a blast of heat, and Zabimaru was engulfed in light, which shot out from the tip of the sword, zooming toward the Hollow now hovering above the trees and preparing to make one more attack.

Renji hated using Higa Zekkou; he knew it hurt Zabimaru, and it was really a last-resort attack. Breaking apart all of the sections of the sword to make an omni-directional attack on the enemy...pouring all of his spirit energy into the assault and driving the splintered pieces of Zabimaru's blade into the opponent--it was a reckless move, and he knew it. He had to be pretty desperate to make it. It left him completely defenseless, injured his zanpakutou badly enough to put it down for the count for a good day or so, and Zabimaru was always sore with him for a good week after that. But his vision was growing fuzzier, his breath shallower; his balance was failing him--he didn't have much choice.

Please work, he implored, lifting his eyes to watch the jagged cord of light spiral up into the air and surround the Hollow. The creature twisted, the light flickered, and then there was a great thundering roar as the red light sharpened into countless sharp shards of crimson energy and plunged into the flesh of the Hollow. It bellowed in pain as the splinters of light and energy drove into its body and tore it apart from the inside, and Renji twisted to grab Jinta by the arm, yanking him to one side and diving behind a tree as the Hollow fell to the earth, its mighty tail leaving a great crater in the grass.

Jinta covered his ears and just let himself be pulled as the air and the earth exploded all around them. He heard Renji grunt in pain as they hit the ground, and he curled up his legs, drawing his knees to his chest as they fell hard behind a tree, the blast of wind as the Hollow fell blowing dirt and debris all around them. There was the deafening death cry of the creature, and then there was silence, and after a good forty-five seconds of just lying there with his hands over his ears and his eyes squeezed closed, Jinta remembered to breathe. When he figured it was safe enough to pry one eye open, he peered around, then cautiously opened the other, pulling his hands away from his ears and turning to look and see what had happened to the Hollow.

The clearing in the grassy area was...a mess. The Hollow was gone, the air no longer reeked of sick-sweet and syrup...the pressure of the monster's reiatsu was gone. There was a massive crack in the earth where the thing had fallen and then faded into nothingness, and there were glittering shards of steel and bone littering the ground. Zabimaru... The boy frowned, wondering if the sword could be fixed? He had lived with Urahara for a while, but he'd only seen the shopkeep use his zanpakutou a few times ever, and he'd never seen it damaged. But, well, there really weren't many things Urahara couldn't do, so Jinta was pretty sure that even if Renji's sword was really broken, Urahara could probably fix it without much trouble.

Sitting up straight and dusting himself off, Jinta turned over his shoulder to cast Renji a big grin. "Oi, Isourou, you did it!" he exulted. "I guess you're not completely useless after a--...hey...are you okay?" Jinta cut himself off in mid-insult when he noted that Renji was still sprawled out on the ground where they'd fallen. "O...oi!" he called, and grabbed the Shinigami by the shoulder, shaking him gently. "C'mon, quit playin' around, you retard. Get up! Look, you beat the Hollow--we can just go back to the shop now."

Renji didn't move. Jinta shook his head and shoved his shoulder harder. There was sweat on the Shinigami's brow, his face drawn in discomfort, his breath shallow and ragged. Jinta swallowed hard and yanked on Renji's sleeve.

"Oi! I'm talking to you!" he shouted. "Stop playing games!"

He reached out and nabbed Renji's wrist, pressing his fingers into the sinews below the Shinigami's mammoth hand, feeling for a pulse. It was rapid and irregular--this...wasn't a game. You couldn't fake that. Jinta felt his blood run cold.

"Oh...come on, you've gotta be kidding me," he cried. "Isourou! ...Isourou! Wake up, you big idiot! Oi!" He punched Renji in the shoulder. "You listen to me when I'm talking to you! I outrank you at the shop and I order you not to die, you jerk! Get up! Get up!" He punched him again, harder this time. "Get up!! I'll hate you forever if you die! Isourou!!"

§

Renji's eyes fluttered open, and he clumsily lifted a hand to his face, grimacing. ...What the hell had happened? His...whole body kinda ached, and his head was killing him. ...Shit, had he gotten completely drunk again or something? Rukia would have his head for this. He blinked rapidly, then glanced up when movement caught his eye--

"Waugh!"

--and yelped in alarm when Rukia's big worried ash-grey eyes filled his line of vision. Oh God had she been here the whole time? He hoped he hadn't said anything incriminating. He did that sometimes when he was drunk; Ikkaku and Yumichika had started keeping a notebook of blackmail quotes.

"Oh good, you're awake," she said, smiling wryly. "It's nice to see you, too." She glanced over her shoulder and cupped one small hand beside her mouth. "Urahara-san~ Ichigo~ He's not dead~"

Not dead? ...Oh! Oh. Right. Not drunk. Poisoned. That explained the headache a little better, perhaps.

The door to the spare room in the back of Urahara's shop opened smoothly, and the tall blond man poked his head inside, waving a closed fan dismissively at Rukia. "I told you he wasn't going to die," he said chidingly. "You should all have more faith in my abilities."

Ichigo shoved Urahara out of the doorway and jabbed an accusatory finger at Renji where the redhead was lying on a futon, his arm bandaged and a cold compress on his brow. "You big idiot!" he scolded. "What the hell were you thinking? Taking on a poisonous Hollow all by yourself is reckless! Can't you ask for help?"

Renji tore the compress from his brow and sat up quickly, irritation coursing through his veins, but before he could make a snappy comeback his equilibrium left him and he doubled forward, slamming one palm flat on the mattress between his knees and grinding the heel of his other hand into his eye socket with a grunt. "Nngh...get bent, Ichigo. Like you're one to talk anyway. I didn't know it was poisonous, and besides...it ain't like I coulda just asked it to hold on a minute while I called my pals," he snarled, and Rukia silenced any further chastising from Ichigo with a sharp frown as she pressed Renji back to the futon.

"All right, all right, that's quite enough out of both of you," she scolded matronly, retrieving the cold compress--which was now lukewarm at best--and planting it back on Renji's face, covering his eyes unevenly. "You two can duke it out once Renji's well again."

Renji plucked the cloth from his face and frowned at Rukia. "How...did I get here, anyhow?" he asked, and Rukia offered him a shallow smile.

"Jinta-kun found your soul phone and dialed me," she told him. "It seemed mine was the first number in your speed-dial, Renji," she added teasingly.

Renji made a halfway flustered noise and quickly replaced the compress over his eyes.

"Sorry for the inconvenience," he grunted uncomfortably. He hated feeling like a burden, and surely having Rukia (and therefore Ichigo) have to come cart his dead-weight back to the shop was surely grounds for irritation on their parts.

Ichigo huffed. "Well your damn gigai was the biggest pain in the ass to bring back," he grumped; "nevermind carting your heavy carcass all the way back here, you had to shove the damn gigai all tangled up under the guardrail half-mangled and--ow!" He glared at Rukia when she casually reached over and punched his foot.

Urahara dropped to a prim seiza position beside the futon and folded his arms, peering at Renji. "You were lucky, Abarai-san," he chided; "if he hadn't thought so quickly, you might have been in real trouble you know?" He smiled pleasantly as Renji plucked the cloth from his eyes again to frown confusedly at him. "That Hollow's venom really did a number on you. It was similar in effect to the nerve toxins of an earth rattlesnake, intended to paralyze a victim so it can be devoured alive."

Renji made a face. Why was it that the shopkeep could somehow say such somber things in such an upbeat voice? He could probably be announcing the end of the universe and somehow do it with a smile on his face.

Urahara adjusted his hat and continued, wagging a finger informatively, "The neurotoxin of a rattlesnake causes paralysis and can interfere with the functions of the heart and lungs...as the Hollow's toxin was doing to you. However, I was able to--"

"Spare me the science lesson, Urahara-san," Renji groaned. "In the end, so long as I ain't dead, I don't really need all the gritty details."

Urahara just smiled. "Fair enough," he said, and rose back to his feet. "You should be fine by morning; the antitoxin had already gotten you out of the woods, so there's nothing to worry about." He slid the door open and hesitated in the doorway. "Thank you, by the way, for your efforts to try and keep Jinta safe."

Renji gave a start. "Jin--" He tried to sit up again, then grunted when Rukia planted her hand on his chest again, leaning most of her weight against him to keep him from moving. He glowered at her. "Kid's okay, right?"

"He's fine," she assured him, smiling, and then flicked him in the forehead. "Just get some rest, bakamono," she scolded him then, and got up, dragging Ichigo out after her and sliding the shouji door closed. She cracked it open one last time, and poked her head back inside. "We'll come check on you again tomorrow, okay? Don't overdo it!"

And then she was gone, and the room was quiet, and Renji just draped his arm over his face and sighed heavily.

He wasn't aware he'd nodded off until he jerked awake at the sound of the shouji sliding open. Tearing the (now completely dry and not cold at all anymore) cloth off his face, Renji blinked in the darkness of the room, alert and tense, and then relaxed when he saw it was just Jinta standing in the doorway, scowling as usual, his hands behind his back.

"Oh," he said, "it's just you. Hey, kid." He draped his arm over his face again. "How ya doin'?"

Jinta scowled further and stalked over to the futon, dropping to his knees and planting a white pastry box on Renji's chest with a grunt.

Renji lifted his arm and quirked one eyebrow. "Uhm..."

"...Th...thanks for saving me!" Jinta blurted hurriedly, bowing his head and then quickly shifting to get up again. Renji's hand shot out more quickly than the kid expected, however, and he caught Jinta's pantleg, sending the kid pitching to the floor with a yelp. Leaping back up to his hands and knees, Jinta whirled on Renji and cuffed him soundly upside the head. "What the hell was that for, you jackass?!" he shouted, and then recoiled, looking sheepish. "Er--! S...sorry. You're not like...still all hurt and stuff, are you?"

Renji glowered, rubbing the crown of his head where Jinta had walloped him. "Well now I've got a headache again," he complained good-naturedly, and shifted to sit up and examine the box the boy had placed on his chest. "What's this?"

Jinta sat back on his haunches and glowered at the floor. "A thank-you present," he said stiffly. "Rukia-neesan told me they were your favorite, so..."

Renji frowned, then opened up the box. A hearty laugh dusted over his lips upon noting the contents--the kid had bought him half a dozen mini-taiyaki from the 24/7 convenience store down the street. "Kid, you didn't have to do that," he said, rubbing the crown of his head again. "It ain't like I saved your ass because I wanted presents."

Jinta refused to look at him. "I know," he replied, "but...I yelled at you and called you a dumbass and a retard and I didn't listen to you when you told me to go home."

Renji rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, nobody listens to me anyway," he said sullenly, and gnawed the head off one of the little pastries.

"Well, and Rukia-neesan said you are a dumbass and a retard sometimes," Jinta offered, and Renji clocked him on top of the head with one big fist. Jinta just laughed and rubbed his head, then kind of grinned at Renji. "You were...pretty cool, though," he admitted. "You killed the hell out of that monster even though you'd been poisoned."

"Well, I am pretty badass," Renji agreed modestly, offering the box to the boy, who accepted one of the little fish-shaped sweets and shoved its head in his mouth.

"Yeah yeah," Jinta said through the mouthful of taiyaki, rolling his eyes. "Humble, too." He pulled the fish-shaped pastry out of his mouth and frowned. "I'm sorry your sword got broken," he said; "do you think Tenchou can fix it?"

Renji waved a hand dismissively. "Zabimaru'll fix himself," he assured the boy, confident that Rukia and Ichigo had retrieved the zanpakutou safely. "He'll just be pissed at me for a few days."

Jinta brightened. So everything really was okay then.

They ate their taiyaki in companionable silence for a few minutes, and then Jinta shifted. "I guess I'll go now and leave you alone," he said, and then paused. "Un...less you were gonna faceplant me again."

Renji just snorted.

"Next time, get directions to the stupid store, okay?" Jinta said stiffly, and Renji bristled.

"Hey, you're the one who insisted you knew where we were going," he shot back, folding his arms and grimacing as the bandaging around his shoulder pulled.

"But you wouldn't listen to me anyway!" Jinta harrumphed, and Renji bared his teeth.

"Welcome to my world, runt," he snapped.

"Well maybe if you weren't such a jerkface people would listen to you!" the boy growled, and Renji shoved another mini-taiyaki in his mouth.

"Well maybe if you weren't such a brat, I'd listen to you!"

Jinta stalked toward the door. "Fine!" he grunted. "Next time, maybe you should take Ururu with you!"

"Fine!" Renji shouted back. "Maybe I will!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!!"

Jinta slammed the door closed and then sat down outside the room, nibbling on the rest of his mini-taiyaki.

Freeloader.

Renji flopped back down on the futon and pulled the blanket up over his head, still chewing on his pastry.

Brat.

And then Jinta grinned. Sure, he was a freeloader, but...he wasn't so bad. In fact, he was pretty brave and, in the end, he was a cool guy. Little moody, little sour, but all things considered, well...the shop was always more lively with him around.

Renji swallowed the last bite of his taiyaki and sighed. ...Well, maybe Jinta was a little brat, but he wasn't a bad kid. His heart was in the right place, even if he ran off at the mouth and didn't always respect his elders. Renji would have protected the little jerk anytime it was necessary. He...rather reminded him of himself, once upon a time--crass, brassy, swaggering through life like he owned it. Well, he still did that, actually.

Heh, maybe the kid was all right after all.

Popping the tail of the pastry into his mouth, Jinta let a smile bleed into his features. Maybe one day he could grow up to be just as brave and strong and...reckless as the freeloader. In the meantime, he supposed he'd just keep taking lessons.

fin

Comments are ♥! Man, Urahara's kinda hard to write. O_o I dunno why, either. Eh. Hope you enjoyed this~ It was a lot of fun to write.

[fic] Beyond Good and Evil: Chapter 33 - Lovely Day

Tue, 12 Aug 2008 20:07:52 GMT

Title: Beyond Good and Evil; 33. – Lovely Day
Authors: aenigmadarai and kawree
Pairing[s]: Reno/Tifa, and some hints of Tseng/Elena. Some one-sided Cloud/Tifa, a dash of blink-and-you'll-miss-it Rosalind/Tseng, and maybe some eventual Yuffie/Cloud if the planets align properly.
Rating: R for some chapters which will contain graphic imagery.
Summary: In which Reno is a good Samaritan.
[Chapter Directory]

( Here we go again my friend... )

tiny Roxas is tiny!

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 09:36:50 GMT

no seriously. so a request was made on a KH comm for a repost of an image i didn't even know existed--someone apparently hacked the PC version of Re: CoM and made a height chart of all the Org members.

i'm not sure who made it, but it's...pretty cool, IMHO. i wish i knew who did; i'd love for them to make one with Sora and the rest of the gang--it's a good resource. also LOL their bead-pulls on the fronts of their coats and the hoods are floating like there's no gravity.

in any case, back on topic. in looking at this picture, i have come to one single conclusion: no matter how you slice it, these are some pretty screwy proportions here. O_o i had been under the impression that Roxas, as a 15-year-old boy, was probably about five feet tall. in America, that's pretty diminutive, but the average height for a grown male is a full two and a half inches taller here than in Japan (or it was two years ago when the game was made, and since the game was created there i assume that familiar height standards were used), so given that Sora does appear to be somewhat short-statured, i had always assumed that he and Roxas hovered right around the 5' mark. however, but by that standard, Larxene crests six feet. now...that is very tall for a woman. and pretty much unheard of for a Japanese woman. that would also make Lexaeus like...just over eight feet tall, which is...ridiculous, considering the current record for "world's tallest living man" is...i believe 8'5"? and that's as a result of a tumor on his pituitary gland. [insert Lex saying, "Eet's not a tuumah!" here]

so i started over. Lexaeus is...very tall. i might even say he's hugenormous. i tend to cap out height at around 7' before it's just...absurd. as an individual who barely clears 5' herself, 7' seems pretty insane from down here, so... but since it looks like Lex is intended to be exaggeratedly tall, let's say he's 7'6". that's a nice insanely tall--a smidge taller than Andre the Giant. that would make Roxas about 4'5". o_o dear gods. but seriously, raising the bar by much of anything just makes everyone's proportions absurd... but taking it down any just makes Roxas laughably small. 4'5" still works...much smaller than that and we somehow rob the poor boy of his dignity along with his stature. D:

but the rest follows rather logically from there. Larxene would stand at just around 5'4", Marluxia at about 6'4", Luxord at 6'2", Demyx at 6'0", Axel at a hair over 6'3", Saïx even with Luxord at 6'2", Zexion at 5'10" (though i never pegged him for much above 5'6", honestly), Vexen and Xaldin at 6'6"ish, Xigbar at just a smidge taller than Demyx, barely 6'1", and Xemnas at a strong 6'5". seems a bit odd to have most of the Org at >6' like that when the average Squeenix character caps out at about 5'7" or so, but having Roxas any smaller just seems insane.

this means Sora, Roxas, Kairi, and Naminé are all legally midgets.

...LOL. midgets saved the universe.

thoughts?

[fic] Beyond Good and Evil and Crossing the Rubicon

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 09:54:27 GMT

i was retarded and forgot to crosspost these when i updated them. oops. so here's a two-fer.

Title: Beyond Good and Evil; 31. – You Know My Name
Authors: aenigmadarai and kawree
Pairing[s]: Reno/Tifa, and some hints of Tseng/Elena. Some one-sided Cloud/Tifa, a dash of blink-and-you'll-miss-it Rosalind/Tseng, and maybe some eventual Yuffie/Cloud if the planets align properly.
Rating: R for some chapters which will contain graphic imagery.
Summary: In which no one expects The Spanish Inquisition.
[Chapter Directory]

( Are you willing to die...? )

Title: Crossing the Rubicon - II. animus nobilem facit
Authors: aenigmadarai and kawree
Premise: Original Game Canon; Divergent Timeline - What if he hadn't let go?
[Chapter Directory]

( in which the fur flies )

[fic] KHII - Sweet Potato Sky

Wed, 28 May 2008 21:47:51 GMT

Title: Sweet Potato Sky
Authors: aenigmadarai and kawree
Characters: Axel and Roxas, no pairing
Summary: Just a little introspection atop the old clock tower... Post-CoM, Pre-KHII, no spoilers if anyone even warns for those anymore.
Rating: Totally G
Word Count: 3296

The sunsets in Twilight Town really were amazing, all red and gold and pink, streaks of other colors, orange mostly, smeared across the clouds like some giant kid went overboard fingerpainting with mashed potatoes, both sweet and the regular kind. Things were soft there; there wasn't darkness and light, but this soft mix of both of them that made everyone equal somehow, Nobodies and Somebodies, all the same there in the twilight.

His ice cream dripped, and he downturned his eyes to watch the drop fall stories to the ground from where he sat atop the clock tower. It hit the ground and he thought he heard a splatter, but it couldn't have been real--it was too far away; he wouldn't have heard it simultaneously. It would have been one of those delayed sounds, watching something splat and then hearing it splat a moment later. Axel had taught him that.

Another sound arose behind him, one he knew wasn't his imagination. A portal jumped up, whispering its strange song, and Roxas sighed a little, watching his ice cream drip again. "Guess I should find a different hiding place," he jibed, though he didn't really want to be alone. The point wasn't to get away so even Axel couldn't find him. The point was that there, on that clock tower, with the sun setting and the day dimming, the shadows that they were weren't so shadowy in the crimson light.

Axel narrowed his eyes a little and lifted his chin, towering over the diminutive blond where he stood behind him. Roxas was very small--a good head and a half shorter than Axel even when the boy stood at his full height--and when Roxas sat on the edge of that clock tower, something like heavy vertigo always tugged at the back of Axel's mind, like maybe the kid was just going to melt into the slurred sunset that hovered perpetually over Twilight Town. He usually managed to quell the urge to reach out and snatch a fistful of the kid's hood--just in case--but today Roxas looked smaller than usual, and so when Axel moved to sit down next to him, he extended one long arm and playfully tugged at the beaded pull that hung at the collar of Roxas's coat.

"If you didn't want me to come after you," he postulated with a shallow smile, "you'd've found another hiding space a long time ago." He tugged the beads one more time, and the rim of Roxas's hood scrunched a little where it hung between his shoulderblades. "What's eatin' you, kid?" he asked then, taking the boy's somber distraction as an invitation to snap a hand out and help himself to a bite of the ice cream pop melting in Roxas's grip. "You just up and vanished after the job earlier--we missed you at the meeting," he mumbled through a mouthful of sun-softened ice cream before pointedly shoving the stick back between Roxas's fingers. He lifted a gloved hand to his face and thumbed a drip away from the corner of his mouth. "I covered for you," he added helpfully, his grin suddenly catlike and impish; "told Saïx you ate some bad pork."

"Yeah, that damn Land of Dragons and their bad mushu," Roxas murmured, a laugh somewhere in the back of his voice even if he didn't smile. "Thanks. Who knows what I'd do with that duck-butt on my ass." His eyes fell from the horizon to the ice cream now back in his hands, and he took a bite, not to be outdone by the redhead. "Aren't you supposed to not mix pork and dairy or something?" he joked, glancing sidelong at Axel with a snide little smirk and an arched eyebrow.

The redhead snapped a hand out and nabbed the ice cream again. "I had chicken," he replied informatively as he pilfered another defiant bite of ice cream. His smile faded then as the strange sweet and salty flavor slid down his throat, and he leaned back on his hands. "You didn't answer my question."

"Nothing gets by you, huh?" He let Axel keep the ice cream; he wasn't really eating it anyway. "Nothing really," answered Roxas then with a little shrug. "I just didn't want to miss the sunset."

Axel made a face, then gestured with the ice cream at the sun, which was hanging about two-thirds above the horizon like the world's biggest sunny-side-up. "Kid, you're watching the same damn sunset we watched the first day I met you," he pointed out, and then jammed the ice cream in his mouth, leaning back on his hands again, scowling now. "Sunsets in this town are like life," he said, though the debatably profound wisdom of his words was significantly diminished by the fact that they were being burbled around a popsicle; "you only miss out if you keep your eyes closed all the time."

He gripped the popsicle stick again and bit off the end of the treat, hissing through his teeth as they ached at the sudden cold. Then he offered the ice cream back to Roxas, his brows knit together. "Don't lie to me, kid," he chided.

Waving a hand, he signaled for Axel to finish the ice cream himself. "If I were lying, I'd have thought of something better," he told his friend, meeting Axel's bright aqua eye for a moment before turning his head back to the horizon. "...You can also miss out if you're not here, though. Just because the sun's still setting when you get here doesn't mean you didn't miss it earlier." Pausing, he postulated, "Maybe we're the only ones with our eyes open."

Axel looked thoughtful, or at least he would have looked thoughtful if the ice cream bar wasn't hanging precariously out of his mouth again. He made a noncommittal monosyllabic sound that may or may not have been any number of words of affirmation or denial, and then cast a sidelong look at Roxas. "Kid, the only thing you missed earlier was Saïx chewing me out about making excuses for your skinny ass," he complained good-naturedly around the ice cream. "So cut the metaphysical crap and just tell me what's on your mind." He nibbled the rest of the ice cream off the stick and then continued to chew on it, offering Roxas a concerned frown. It was never a good sign when Roxas told him to finish the ice cream.

"You think we have hearts, Axel?" he asked, suddenly, and with no warning.

Axel, to his credit, didn't jump, though he did look visibly startled by his friend's question. The popsicle stick hung from the corner of his mouth, and his slender eyebrows inched together, making a pronounced crinkle in his brow. "I..." he began, and then sat forward, pulling the stick out of his mouth and frowning at it, as if it were somehow at fault for this. Then he glanced back at Roxas. "What's this, all of a sudden?" he asked rather than trying to answer. Roxas had asked a lot of strange philosophical questions before, and Axel was usually pretty good at making up something that sounded feasible...but he'd been really unprepared for this particular pop quiz.

"Oh, didn't Saïx tell you? I'm a spy, sent to make sure you obey Organization dogma," Roxas stated, so seriously it seemed almost ludicrous. "We want to make sure our members are united under a common cause aburr-bur-burr." If there was any question that he was joking, the Serious Business Voice cleared it right up.

Axel was probably less amused than Roxas would have liked, and he jammed the popsicle stick back in his mouth, leaning on his hands again. "Kid, the day you and Saïx team up is the day there really is no hope left in the world," he muttered, waving a hand helplessly.

"Which is why I'm asking you about it, and not duck-butt junior," concluded the boy, smirking for a moment before shaking his head and letting out a sigh. "...I think we do," he confided, glancing from the horizon down to his empty hands, interlacing his fingers as he sat there, forward with his elbows on his knees. "At least sometimes. Maybe not all the time, but...maybe, in places like this..."

Axel's eyes slid half-closed and he puffed something like a chuckle. "Heart ain't a damn accessory, kid," he reminded him; "you can't just wear one in certain worlds or because you think it looks fashionable." He shook his head then, and cast his gaze toward the sunset. "Why's it matter anyhow?" he asked then. "Heart or not, it doesn't really change anything, does it?"

"Guess not," Roxas agreed with a slight shrug, indicating that the topic at hand had no real import. But then, instead of changing the subject, he went right on ahead, "Maybe it's only places like this that make it come out of the dark, then." He snorted. "Like...I don't think Saïx's ever watched a sunset, you know?"

Axel barked a harsh laugh. "Nah, he's too busy howling at the moon."

The redhead didn't like the way Roxas was just willing to shrug about the subject, though. Axel may not have known Roxas for a terribly long time, but he knew the kid well enough to know Roxas never brought up anything serious unless it was really bothering him. The boy was, above most things, meticulously concise and infuriatingly sensible, and Axel knew that perhaps better than anyone. Roxas wasted nothing--not movements or words...not even time. And for Roxas to go to the trouble of bringing a topic to the table meant that it was important, even if he wanted to pretend it wasn't.

Axel pulled the popsicle stick out of his mouth again, extending his hand forward and tracing the wobbly, watery lines of the sunset streaked across the vermilion sky, like maybe he could change the shapes of the clouds if he stared hard enough.

"I don't think Saïx likes this town much," Axel said after a moment of painting the air with the stick. He paused in his artistic efforts and frowned at Roxas. "You know what he'd say if he were here?" he asked then, and that feline grin crawled across his lips. "He'd say that Twilight Town is a stagnant city of fools, trapped in perpetual limbo and unable to choose whether they live in the light or the dark." He shook his head, his crimson hair glinting like fire in the sunset. "But he's stupid," he continued; "I think Twilight Town is really the only place we belong, you know?" He lowered his eyes, scowling at his knees, and waved one hand in the air, making a fist before he let it drop into his lap. "Caught," he said softly, "right in the middle...never one or the other, and somehow both all at once."

Roxas nodded, the faint beginnings of a smile crossing his features. "Yeah," he agreed, and this time it was much more...agreeable. "Less caught, though, and more...suspended. A place between, where light is dim and darkness is bright--they mix here," he murmured, watching gulls fly by the clouds. "Just like us. We don't have to decide. And you need a heart to belong, don't you? I think this place is proof enough."

Axel's scowl faded when Roxas sounded satisfied--he hated it when the kid was upset; it made him feel useless--and he shoved the popsicle stick back in his mouth, gnawing on the end of it as he leaned back on his hands again, peering at Roxas out of the corner of his eye. "This is my favorite place, you know?" he asked relevantly, and Roxas looked at him. Axel smiled toothily around the stick. "It's got everything--night and day, light and shadow, sea, land, and sky all at the same time..." He shook his head. "If there's a place we get to go when we die, I hope it's like this. It wouldn't be so bad to stay here forever; endless sunset's kinda like a neverending memory, huh. It just sorta hangs there, always, and you never really appreciate it 'til you're somewhere you can't see it. But being here, it's like nothing gets forgotten." He grinned and waved a hand at the sweet-potato sky, chuckling. "It's all there...painted in clouds. Everything."

He suddenly wondered if that was what Roxas was afraid of. Axel had been trying to figure it out for a long time--everyone had something they were afraid of. Xigbar was scared of dogs and Xaldin was claustrophobic...Marluxia had been terrified of stinging insects, which had amused Axel to no end, and even Larxene was afraid of water. But he'd never managed to figure out what Roxas was scared of. He'd never asked, because it never felt like the kind of thing that you asked someone, but he often wondered. It was hard to protect someone from what they were afraid of when they never told you what it was, and harder still to feel like you were worth much at all when you never even knew what sorts of things to watch out for...but what the hell was Axel supposed to do if what Roxas feared was...being forgotten?

Distantly, Roxas made some noise of acknowledgement, a strangely unempty sigh dusting out his nose. "...You think if I come here often enough, the things I've forgotten will come back?" The question may have seemed somber, but there was no melancholy in it. If anything, there was...hope.

Axel pulled the popsicle stick out of his mouth and pointed it at Roxas, closing one eye and brandishing the stick at the blond's head. "That's why you haven't found a new hiding spot yet," he said, and then chortled brightly, "ain't it?"

"I'm not hiding," he laughed; the redhead always managed to tease a smile back onto his lips. "You're the only one who bothers to come looking anyway." And then he shook his head, watching the flock of gulls dip and weave. "...It's different, Axel. Every time I watch it. Like it grows with me, builds up memories as I do. They say the sunset's always here, but as far as I know, it's only here when I'm looking at it. Memories too, only there when I think about 'em." He looked at Axel and grinned brazenly, the way he always did when he was about to say something extraordinarily sappy. The overly dramatic expression took the edge off. "Maybe that's why my sunsets are red. You're the person I remember the most."

Axel nodded vaguely, putting the popsicle stick back in his mouth. "Maybe the sunset is only there when you're looking at it," he conceded, something lost and haunted in his turquoise eyes suddenly, "but that's really the only time it matters anyway..." He shook his had then, chuckling, the bleeding ice behind his eyes gone as quickly as it had shown up. He glanced at Roxas, smiling broadly now. "You know why the sunset's red, Rox?" he postulated, and Roxas just quirked an eyebrow.

This again?

"Ah...'because of all the colors that make up light, red is the one that reaches the furthest'?" he ventured, and Axel yanked the popsicle stick out of his mouth again, this time jabbing it toward the scarlet sunset that hung above the orange sea.

"And that's why I'll always come looking for you," he said; "no matter how far I have to go." And then reached up to tweak at one of the red spikes of his hair. "Although for all I know, my hair might be blue when I'm not looking at it."

Roxas chuckled, reaching out with a fist to bonk against Axel's. "Yeah, maybe. You don't have a duck-butt going on, though, so at least you know you don't look like a loser when no one's watching."

Axel returned the fistbonk with gusto, chuckling. "Yeah, I only look like a loser when you're watching," he griped, drawing up one knee and draping his arm over it. "So how many more times are you gonna make me lie to the higher-ups and then come looking for you like some lovesick lame-ass, huh?" He shook his head. "S'gettin' old, kid. People are gonna start talking."

With a casual shrug, Roxas just smirked. "How many memories until a heart is full?" he countered, the question rhetorical, not meant to spur more discussion. Just in case Axel felt like a wiseass, he continued, "It's not my fault you reach the farthest--or that you're shoveling bad pork behind my back."

"I reach the farthest because I'm 6'5" and one of my arms is longer than you are tall, squirt," he countered, shaking a finger at Roxas and moving to get to his feet. He extended a hand to pull Roxas standing, and then put a hand on his chin and regarded the boy a moment. "And I think a heart is full when it's ready to be full," he said then, casting his eyes back to the sky a moment before reaching out to yank that beaded cord on Roxas's coat again, making the hood winch up like a scrunchie. Axel grinned slyly then, poking a finger sharply into the boy's chest. "You'll remember when you're ready," he said, and then shoved his hands in his pockets.

A scowl dove across his features and he flailed his arms at Axel, shooing him off while he de-scrunchified his hood. "Hay hay hay," yowled the boy, working the hood back open again and then setting himself to the arduous task of making the two sides of the string the same length again. "You're such a jerk," he griped. But behind that surly face and narrow eyes, somewhere behind that all-seeing blue, there was a smile.

"And you wouldn't want me to be any different," Axel dared him, that feline smirk on his face. He conjured a portal and waved one hand. "C'mon," he said, reaching out to beckon the boy into the whorling ingress of black and silver mist. "I'll take your abandoned ice cream bar as compensation for having to face Saïx without you for now," he added, "but next time, I'll start charging interest."

"Yeah yeah. I'll just start picking up the munny when we kill Heartless," he mused, following Axel into the portal. "And then you'll spend it on ice cream and mushu pork anyhow." As the portal closed and they found themselves in Betwixt and Between, the twisting greens and blues replacing the warm colors of Twilight Town, he heaved a sigh. "...Thanks, Axel."

And Axel just paused where he was walking through the shifting green and teal mists, glanced over his shoulder at Roxas, his eyes almost the same eerie opalescent color as the empty air around them, and he just smiled. "Anytime, kid."

He waited until Roxas caught up to his longer strides, then wordlessly slung one spindly arm around the boy's shoulders, and as he waggled one hand in the air to open a portal that would take them back to the cool, damp world they called home, Axel found himself wondering just how far red light really could travel, and hoping he would never have to find out for himself. Something in Axel just couldn't quite shake the nagging idea that Roxas wasn't going to be around forever--none of them were, for that matter--but he resigned himself to the unvoiced promise that if Roxas ever needed him, he would be there without question. No matter how far his light had to travel, he would never leave Roxas to the darkness locked away inside his own troubled head, and knowing that the kid knew that was enough for him.

So if you call, I will answer
and if you fall, I'll pick you up
and if you court this disaster
I'll point you home.

This was just a little something aenigmadarai came up with a while back...we felt like writing some Axel and Roxas and we didn't really have a plan when we started, but I think it turned out all right. ^_^ I really loved the way the little snippets we've seen thus far of 358/2 Days gives canon indication of something I've always put into the way I write Axel--a sense of skewed and sarcastic philosophy, what with the 'why is the sunset red' line... That cracked me up. Dorkiest philosopher ever.

Thanks for reading! Comments are love!

[fic] Crossing the Rubicon - I. alia iacta est

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 10:43:44 GMT

Title: Crossing the Rubicon - I. alia iacta est
Authors: aenigmadarai and kawree
Premise: Original Game Canon; Divergent Timeline - What if he hadn't let go?
Word Count: 5,375/??

It's been said that one's life can be likened to train tracks: Once they've been laid down, they can only go in one direction, toward a single destination that was decided from the get-go, and the only way to diverge from the path in front of you is to wait for a switch in the tracks. Then you're faced with a choice--right or left? And regardless of which way you choose, there's always that little nagging voice of wonder in the back of your mind, asking what might have happened if you'd gone the other way. It could be said that for every decision that is made in life, two roads are created...one that takes you left, and one that takes you right, possibly creating an infinite number of paths that could be walked in the life of a single human being. Add to that the potential infinite number of paths in each life a person interacts with, and you're left with an unfathomable web of roads, leading to a future you yourself have every power to direct, with every choice you make.

Every story has an unlimited number of potential paths. There are two roads for every decision a person makes, whether it be right or left, good or bad. This is the other path. This is the story of the road not taken.

Crossing the Rubicon
chapter one: alia iacta est

( in which Reno is reminded why he never kept a pet )

[fic] Beyond Good and Evil: Chapter 30 - Right Now

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 01:42:32 GMT

Title: Beyond Good and Evil; 30. – Right Now
Authors: aenigmadarai and kawree
Pairing[s]: Reno/Tifa, and some hints of Tseng/Elena. Some one-sided Cloud/Tifa, a dash of blink-and-you'll-miss-it Rosalind/Tseng, and maybe some eventual Yuffie/Cloud if the planets align properly.
Rating: R for some chapters which will contain graphic imagery.
Summary: In which Reno gives Denzel his card and divulges a humorously traumatic past experience.
[Chapter Directory]

( She taught me how to trust... )

[fic] Beyond Good and Evil: Chapter 29 - You and Me

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 04:25:50 GMT

Title: Beyond Good and Evil; 29. – You and Me
Authors: aenigmadarai and kawree
Pairing[s]: Reno/Tifa, and some hints of Tseng/Elena. Some one-sided Cloud/Tifa, a dash of blink-and-you'll-miss-it Rosalind/Tseng, and maybe some eventual Yuffie/Cloud if the planets align properly.
Rating: R for some chapters which will contain graphic imagery.
Summary: In which there is ~~fire and screaming~~ salmon and talk of imaginary things.

[Chapter Directory]

( This clock never seemed so alive... )

KHII Doujinshi - Asu wo Yumemu (scanlated)

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 11:15:27 GMT

sup kids~ here, have a lovely lovely doujinshi i translated and some LJ friends edited into scanlations. ^_^ this is a really beautiful doujinshi--the artwork is exquisite (it's all pencil art, no inktones or screened shading; all pencil), and the story is heartbreakingly bittersweet. completely worksafe, but a real sweet treat for any KH fan~ ♥

Title: Asu wo Yumemu
Circle: Gurashie
Pairing: AxelxRoxas
Pages: 27
Rating: G
Original Scans: tinuleaf
Translation: kawree
Editors: synnesai, cavechan (their forum)
Summary: Set in game. Axel and Roxas sit and talk on the clock tower. The two talk about days passed, good and bad, right before Roxas disappears. TT^TT

Download!

enjoy~~

also if anyone would like the original raw scans, you can find this and a few other doujinshi here in tinuleaf's personal LJ.

[fic] Beyond Good and Evil: Chapter 28 - Anything You Can Do

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 05:26:47 GMT

Title: Beyond Good and Evil; 28. – Anything You Can Do...
Authors: aenigmadarai and kawree
Pairing[s]: Reno/Tifa, and some hints of Tseng/Elena. Some one-sided Cloud/Tifa, a dash of blink-and-you'll-miss-it Rosalind/Tseng, and maybe some eventual Yuffie/Cloud if the planets align properly.
Rating: R for some chapters which will contain graphic imagery.
Summary: In which Elena is persistent and Reno fears the fiery wrath of little girls.
[Chapter Directory]

( I can do most anything! )

In other news:

resin'd and sanded; i have painted it, but i haven't taken a photo of it that far yet. i need to put two more coats of resin over the paint and finish the keychain and it's done! the hilt looks amazing--the papier mache is a little lumpy in spots, so after the several layers of paint it actually came out looking like hammered brass. seriously awesome. :D it looks like The Keyblade--slightly used. XD the shaft is nice and smooth, but the key head is a little cockeyed here and there cuz i was still experimenting with the prototype, so it looks like Sora's been whaling on someone with it a lot lately.

thoughts? opinions? suggestions?

[fic] Beyond Good and Evil: Chapter 27 - Everlasting Friend

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 02:12:42 GMT

Title: Beyond Good and Evil; 27. – Everlasting Friend
Authors: aenigmadarai and kawree
Pairing[s]: Reno/Tifa, and some hints of Tseng/Elena. Some one-sided Cloud/Tifa, a dash of blink-and-you'll-miss-it Rosalind/Tseng, and maybe some eventual Yuffie/Cloud if the planets align properly.
Rating: R for some chapters which will contain graphic imagery.
Summary: In which a mind is a terrible thing to lose.
[Chapter Directory]

( Mistakes became our medicine... )

Memorize This.

Fri, 21 Mar 2008 08:03:55 GMT

Knock Knock. Who's there? ...Nobody.
An in-depth scientific evaluation of Axel

Disclaimer: This essay is intended to depict my personal theories regarding Axel and the characters of Kingdom Hearts that are affiliated with him. It is not intended in any way to cause wank, drama, or make me look like a pedantic bitch. Feel free to discuss the theory and ask questions/point out your own counterarguments, etc, but I'm not publicly crossposting this because apparently having an opinion gets you flogged in fandom. Thank you.

THE QUESTION:

Why does everyone think Axel is Reno's Nobody? ...Seriously. I don't get this theory AT ALL. I've always fiercely discounted the fanon theory that Axel is Reno's Nobody--I just think it's a bad theory; it has very little foundation and is overall just very poorly thought-through, IMHO. Even without Nomurasensei stating verbatim that they're not the same person--

Interviewer: Axel and Reno from "FF7 Advent Children" have the same voice actor, and even almost the same appearance and image. Did you intend that?
Nomura: To me, Axel is an existence close to Reno, created in the same concept, but they are different people. Those two are different people but subconsciously alike. I wanted to see how it would be to have completely different characters that are really similar to each other but hold different kind of roles in different worlds.

Let's hear it again, folks: "...they are different people. Those two are different people..."

--as I've done more reading into the KH canon and worked on translating scenes from the novels and so on, I've found even more reason to think this theory is the lamest lame that ever lamed lamely. I'm all for coming up with wild theories about things--hell; I've got plenty of them. But about the only things Reno and Axel have in common are eye color, hairdo, and an affinity for unique tattoos in unusual places. Shit, if that's the grounds for Nobody/Somebody, then why doesn't anyone argue that he's, say...Hisoka's Nobody? I think the resemblance is rather striking, don't you? Or how about Kougaiji's Nobody? Or Gaara, Renji, or even Gene Starwind's Nobody? Okay, maybe Gene is cheating--those are scars, not tattoos...but the point still stands. Moreover, if the voice is really such a heavy indication of connection, does that mean Saïx is this guy's Nobody? Or that Riku is actually Suoh Tamaki in disguise? ...Eeyeah, I don't think so either. For that matter, Sora and Roxas have different voices, as do Kairi and Naminé and Xehanort, Ansem, and Xemnas. So the fact that Reno and Axel have the same voice should be irrelevant to this argument in the first place, if not a means to challenge the fanon theory they're the same person. In any case...sure, Axel and Reno might share a particular visual style and a voice actor, but their personalities? Mmmmm notsomuch. In fact...not at all. So, when a friend of mine basically presented me with an opportunity to stamp this theory into the ground (and by presented me with an opportunity, I mean made a public LJ post postulating on the subject), I jumped on it and, like five comments later, I realized I had basically written an entire manifesto about Axel and my theories on just who and what he is/was...

My friend pointed out in her post what, I believe, is the best argument against Axel having been Reno's Nobody.

'I mean, seriously, Reno being a manipulative backstabber...?????'

THANK you. While it's obvious from the few cases in which we know for certain which Somebody belongs to which Nobody (i.e. Sora/Roxas, Kairi/Naminé, and Xehanort/Xemnas) that someone's Nobody is not a carbon copy of their Somebody, their personalities are not so vastly altered that the Nobody acts in a way that the Somebody never would.

So who is Axel? Well that's the question I'm hoping this essay will help clear up a little, or if nothing else, illustrate that he's most assuredly not Reno. It is my theory that Nobodies, while they are defined as the emotionless shadows of people who had strong hearts and were consumed willingly by the darkness, are a reflection of what their Somebody subconsciously wished to be, but was never able to be--the repressed part of the personality that is held back behind the curtain for whatever reason. Here, a breakdown, if you will, of my thoughts on the subject of a Somebody vs. their Heartless vs. their Nobody.

THE RESEARCH:

A Somebody is just what they sound like. The person as they are, at face value--or not so face value--the what you see is what you get. This is...anybody, really...and the way they act on a normal basis when they're just being themselves.

A Heartless is described as being created when the heart of a Somebody is consumed by darkness and they lose themselves to the wickedness within their own self. Now, most of the time, this creates a Shadow Heartless (I'm always surprised by how few people seem to realize that most of the Heartless in the game are manufactured; they're not true Heartless. All the Heartless with that logo imprinted on them are false Heartless that were created by Xehanort and the other apprentices to Ansem the Wise--people don't turn into those [though there is a bit of an inconsistency in the original game in which someone's heart is stolen and they turn into a Soldier Heartless with an emblem on the chest, but it is stated canon that the emblem Heartless are manufactured, so this may just be an inconsistency in the game itself and can thus be discounted]...), and it is made quite clear that most people, when they become a Heartless, lose their form and their sense of sentience along with their heart, leaving behind a masterless creature whose only purpose is to find and collect hearts. If the person in question is of a particularly strong heart and will, the Heartless will maintain its form (as it did with Scar, for example). Heartless of this nature would therefore be the embodiment of the darkness within that individual soul that consumed the heart. By this logic, the Heartless of a strong individual would basically be all of the bad and wicked things about them, amplified. The Dark Somebody, if you will. If someone is overtly selfish by nature, their Heartless would be glaringly so. If someone is bloodthirsty by nature, their Heartless would be more vicious than Charles Manson. When Xaldin tried to turn Beast into a Heartless, he played to the rage and grief within Beast's heart--Xaldin knew that Beast's Heartless would not only be physically powerful due to his monstrous form, but be filled with anger and fierce sad hopelessness and a lack of a sense of self-preservation...because these are all dark traits Beast illustrates even in his Somebody form. He has a quick temper, is easily depressed and down on himself, and was quick to lose hope in anyone ever being able to save him.

Moving on to the most nebulous facet of this triumvirate, we come to the Nobodies, who were never really explained in a true concrete manner; everybody kinda danced around the idea like they were afraid to actually say anything for certain. Nobodies are defined as the flesh and spirit left behind when a Somebody becomes a Heartless (usually the Nobody takes the form of a Dusk, as shown; they are defined as the Shadow's equivalent. Not really sure how the rest of them happen, then...). That's easy enough to understand (although I'm inclined to think there's a bit of a misnomer going on here... If the Heartless are created when a heart descends into darkness and the heart is then released when the Heartless is killed...well then it's really not heartless at all, is it? O_o The Nobodies should be the ones called Heartless, IMO, since it's so harped upon that they have none... But I digress), but what about who a Nobody is? If the Heartless is the dark part of the Somebody, then what is the Nobody? I believe that the Nobody is the repressed part of the personality--the anti-Somebody, if you will. All those pieces of you that you keep under wraps? Those little quirks and faults and hidden talents and squelched beliefs? I think those are what's left behind and transfer to your Nobody. Think about it...if your personality is who you are, and then you lose your heart, quite logically, what would be left behind? Those parts of your personality you shoved aside on the back burner. Those would remain and be manifested in your Nobody. Now, because your soul remains behind in the flesh that becomes your Nobody, there are still strong hints of your Somebody therein...you maintain your deepest wishes and desires, you would likely keep your likes and dislikes... Think of the Nobody as the you that you were scared to allow yourself to be--the you without hesitation or restraint. Or perhaps the you you refused to allow yourself to be; someone weak or vulnerable who leaned on others instead of trying too hard to be strong... It could perhaps be argued that, in a way, the Nobody is more you than your Somebody is, if you really think about it. All those traits you hold back for one reason or another--social propriety, family expectation, fear of rejection, etc--all of those traits would be manifested with abandon in this you that was not you...

I believe canon supports these definitions fully. Even though little scientific notation seems to be given (despite the fact that there are buttloads of scientists in the game), the way the characters carry themselves in their various forms gives more than enough meat for this argument.

Exhibit A:

Let's look at Sora and Roxas for a moment. Sora is, in KHI, for most intensive purposes, the Goodest Good who ever Gooded Goodly. Seriously. He was sweet, he was extroverted, he was honest and sincere and almost saccharinely bubbly and amiable. When given the almost insurmountable task that was his apparent destiny, he poured his entire heart soul and being into saving the world, despite how that tore him and Riku apart. He was a little hesitant at first--

Sora: Well, I didn't ask for this.
Yuffie: (to Sora) The Keyblade chooses its master. And it chose you.
Leon: So tough luck.

--but in the end, he comes through without argument, regardless of the danger he knows he'll probably have to put himself through, or how big a chasm it ripped between him and his best friend. You know there had to be a little part of Sora that wanted so badly to just hurl that Keyblade aside and stop fighting and just stamp his foot in stubborn anger and refuse to keep driving the wedge further between he and Riku. Sure, Riku was his rival, and he was fighting for Kairi's life, but how hard must it have been for poor Sora to know that every move he made was pushing his best friend further and further away from him?

Sora's case of Heartless is a little...ah...special. Sora voluntarily becomes a Heartless to release Kairi's heart from his own body, where it had rather inexplicably taken up residence. So it could be argued that Sora's Heartless can't really be used in this argument; I'll buy that. Even so, if we do take any of it into account, it does still support the ideas I have illustrated thus far. Sora is the Goodest Good, remember? So while he has a strong heart, his Heartless still comes out a Shadow because he has so little darkness in him. It's like trying to wring water from dry cheese--you'd have to try really freakin' hard, and all you're gonna get is a drop or two. Sora just doesn't really have the capacity to be a hardcore Heartless, and so while he remained sentient because his heart was so strong, there was so little darkness in it that he was only able to attain Shadow form.

And now look at Roxas. in Twilight Town, Roxas was introverted, solemn, distracted and not confident--nobody really depended on Roxas to save the day, because Roxas didn't seem at all like the type who could. His friends adored him, but it was obvious they pretty much saw him as a space case who couldn't be depended on to always remember things. Recall how Hayner had to remind him sharply about the Struggle Tournament? Whether or not Roxas's general apathy with existence was deliberate or not is debatable, but the fact remains that while Sora had every lust for life, Roxas pretty much just...was, and wasn't too for wont of being in the spotlight. And when Roxas was expected to take up the Keyblade? He cast it aside and demanded a full and thorough explanation of exactly what the shit was going on before he made more than a move in his own defense. Roxas didn't want to save the world--he just wanted to hang out and spend summer vacation with his best friends. Sora accepted the task and felt obligated to carry it through to the end...but I can't be the only one who supposed there were plenty of times he wished he could have shrugged off all that responsibility. Roxas never accepted any task in the first place--at least not without a lot of explanation. He pretty much said "fuck you!" and threw away the Keyblade, even though Axel was claiming to be his best friend and promised him answers later. He didn't want answers later, he wanted them now, and gorrammit, he was gonna get them or he wasn't going anywhere.

There is a lot of controversy over Roxas's character in Twilight Town... It's argued that since he's lost all his memories of his time with the Organization, he's 'out of character', as it were, as he is portrayed in KHII. Granted, we don't know a whole lot about how Roxas was when he was actually an acting member of the Org yet, but what we do know also supports this rebellious and devil-may-care attitude. He betrayed the Org. He told them to go screw themselves, because he didn't want to take orders anymore; he wanted the answers they wouldn't give him, so he just waved goodbye and moved on to bigger and better things. Or well...he tried anyway. Sora took the orders and took up the torch without much explanation...but that's an awful lot of responsibility for a 14-year-old boy. There had to be a big part of him that really wanted nothing to do with it. Were it not for Kairi and Riku's heavy involvement in the situation, I doubt Sora would have been enthusiastic about carrying the weight of the title of Keyblade Master at all. However there were still heavy influences of Sora's character within Roxas. Above all else, Roxas loved his friends, and even if they were just data projections of kids he hadn't ever actually been close with in the real world, he loved them all the same. Whose names did he shout when the world got too weird for him? Whose faces did he conjure when he felt alone and vulnerable? There are scenes from the manga from when he was in the real world, in the Organization, and he pines for those friends; yearns for the fun they have and the companionship they share. Sora was never meant to be a lone wolf, and Roxas had a hard time being an army of one, as it were, for the Org. That's probably one of the biggest reasons he clung so tightly to Axel in the first place. More on this later.

Also note that, once Sora and Roxas were split...didn't you notice how drastically Sora's personality changed for KHII? he was a snarky sarcastic little punk! I firmly believe that the sudden change in his almost unnatural sweetness to being a headstrong sniping pubescent juvenile punk (and you can't blame this on his turning 15...he was asleep for it!) was strongly due to the fact that that's basically what Roxas was, and once Sora's subconscious got a taste of what it was like to actually mouth off and talk back and put his foot down about stuff...he wanted to keep it.

Exhibit B:

Moving on to another side of the trio we can compare, let's have a look-see at little miss Kairi, shall we? Now, while Kairi's personality is a lot less pronounced due to her truncated screentime, there are plenty of things we can still deduce about her. She's headstrong, sassy, and proud, she loves her friends even though it's pretty obvious at the beginning of KHI that Riku kinda spooks her for some reason (as an aside, I personally think that this is because she's one of the Princesses of Heart, and Riku is so susceptible to darkness. She would naturally feel a strange aura from him because of the opposing powers of dark and light between them). She's independent and would like to think she's not a damsel in distress, even if she ends up being one anyway. One thing fandom often seems to conveniently forget--or perhaps blatantly ignore--is that Kairi is not a pansy. She's a bit of a damsel in distress because she's not a trained fighter the way Sora and Riku are...she hasn't been sparring with her best friend since she was five years old. She wields her own (albeit flowery) Keyblade at the end of KHII, remember? She leaps from a third-story balcony and lands just fine to go and fight by Sora's side. Girly, yes. But helpless, useless, and worthless as the fandom often depicts her? Hardly.

Rather like Sora, Kairi is pretty much the Goodest Good revisited. She's a Princess of Heart, for crying out loud. Kairi doesn't even really get a Heartless...her heart merges with Sora before the islands are consumed by darkness, and her body that is left behind is pretty much a soulless doll. So we can't really compare Kairi's Heartless to her Somebody, because she didn't even get one, for basically the same reasons Sora likely wouldn't have turned into one ever if he hadn't...yanno...shanked himself with the Dark Keyblade and all... With the advent of 358/2 Days, we're given the new character Xion, whom I believe everyone would be likely to agree is at least affiliated with Kairi in some way, but those are theories for another day.

Like Roxas against Sora, Naminé is an excellent illustration of my theory on Nobodies as explained above. Where Kairi was strong and self-sufficient, Naminé was meek and timid and frightened. Where Kairi had good friends she could depend on and be herself with, Naminé had...Larxene and Marluxia telling her what to do 24/7. Whereas Kairi wasn't afraid to speak her mind, no matter who she was talking to, Naminé was a doormat who had no say in anything. Naminé is the side of Kairi's heart that is a weak and scared little girl because Kairi wouldn't let herself be that person. Unlike Roxas, who was the manifestation of the punk-kid Sora probably wished he wasn't too sweet to be, Naminé is the expression of what Kairi would not allow herself to be. When your two best friends are rowdy rambunctious island boys, you can't really be a girly girl or you'll get left behind. Naminé is all of the things Kairi squashed beneath her tough tomboy exterior in order to be good enough to hang around with Riku and Sora.

Naminé's inner monologue in the novels is...so sad. She spends most of her time contemplating the point of her own existence and wondering if she's even worth the air she breathes. She cowers and trembles and follows orders without question because she fears being hurt and getting cowed by her stronger Nobody company. These are obviously not traits Kairi would want for herself, but they're those shadowed parts of her personality that she's probably contemplated and never acted on. What would it be like if I didn't try so hard to be cool? What would I be like if I actually showed how much Riku freaked me out? How would things be if I didn't act so strong all the time? Naminé is the answer to these questions. She is still Kairi--she's still sweet and helpful and pleasant and kind, even when she's being ordered and jerked around--but she's the weaker shadow of Kairi who didn't have the strength to really stand on her own two feet. Sure, she put her foot down in Castle Oblivion when Sora was fighting with Repliku, but other than that, Naminé was a pushover. Kairi was decisive and fierce, but Naminé for the most part was very wishy-washy and sad. Manipulative, yes, and quite good at fucking with peoples' heads, but meek nonetheless. I believe that Kairi, for all her feistiness and fire, really wanted to be saved... Something in her wanted to be that princess at the top of the tower whose knight in shining armor came to save her from the wicked fate bestowed upon her...and Naminé is very much that frail and fragile princess Kairi never allowed herself to be.

While we don't really see Kairi after she and Naminé re-merge, I'd be inclined to hypothesize that in the same way Sora embraced a lot of Roxas's personality into himself, Kairi's personality would be slightly altered as well. It's likely that she would be less afraid to be vulnerable in Sora and Riku's presence, because the Naminé in her knows that those boys will love her all the same. Riku and Sora were kind to Naminé even though she wasn't strong or fierce or a tomboy like Kairi, and so Kairi would logically come to the conclusion that she's allowed to be much more of herself now than she was before, because her friends have seen both extremes.

Exhibit C:

Rounding off my selection of data, we come to perhaps the most conclusive indication toward the validity of my theory. The trio of Xehanort, 'Ansem', and Xemnas is the only case that illustrated all three sides of the individual thoroughly and without extenuating circumstance, so let's have a look.

Xehanort was a meek and trampled assistant whose research was stamped out because his mentor decided it was too controversial and dangerous. Xehanort simply wanted to expand his knowledge on the darkness and to lead him and his team of fellow apprentices to some grand conclusion. However, while he wasn't afraid to research a potentially dangerous and extremely controversial subject, he was afraid to stand up to his mentor who forbade it. He was brilliant, but lacked any manner of spine whatsoever...that was shown pretty clearly in KHII when he approached Ansem for permission to continue his work and Ansem barked at him. Xehanort flinched and folded, and no more was said about it... While Xehanort's personality wasn't really fleshed out as fully as it could have been, the fact that he was a pansy with no balls was...pretty well-established.

But in the end, Xehanort managed to grow those balls after all. He and the other five apprentices kept working on those darkness experiments, eventually giving their own hearts over for the sake of their science. Thus, 'Ansem' was born. Whether Xehanort's Heartless maintained its form and sentience because he actually did have a very strong heart or simply because he gave his heart over willingly is unclear, but nevertheless, as my theory suggested, Xehanort's Heartless illustrates all those darker parts of Xehanort that were muted in his Somebody form. The Heartless that was created was ruthless and cruel and didn't care whose lives were mowed down on the road to his success. He was hell-bent on finding Kingdom Hearts and completing his research into the darkness that rested dormant in the hearts of all people, and it was that drive that ultimately ended him. Xehanort's Heartless wound up losing its life to the very science and research that had created it--rather fitting, wouldn't you say? JUST SAY NO TO SCIENCE, KIDS! O_O;;;

However much to Sora's chagrin, it wasn't over yet. Little did he realize that there was still one more hurdle on this road. Xemnas--ironically the most passionately driven and bloodthirsty of all three, despite lacking a heart--was still ahead, and is arguably the most pronounced illustration of my theory. Xemnas delved into the deepest depths of that darkness he pursued, along with the Nobodies of those other apprentices who were also held back by the reservations of Ansem the Wise. Xemnas commanded where Xehanort followed. Xemnas pushed the envelope, where Xehanort was smothered by it. Xemnas was everything Xehanort wished he'd had the strength to be and then some... He was so completely motivated by his goals and the path of his research that nothing else mattered. In the end, his demise was inevitable, but for one shining moment, Xehanort's soul had to have been at peace to know that he'd finally found the ambition and strength to follow his dream to whatever end.

THE HYPOTHESIS:

A big part of my theory hinges on the idea that Axel...is not a normal Nobody. He acts very differently from the others, for one thing. Don't worry, there's an explanation for all this. Let me get the cards in place before I flip them all over. For one thing, he's much more animated, much more expressive, much more vocal, and we all know he seems to have a very strong bond with Roxas, too... plus he seems absolutely hell-bent on turning the tables on Xemnas. Now why in the world would someone with no emotions be so adamant about overthrowing his boss? And whereas Larxene and Marluxia wanted to usurp the throne, as it were, to rule over the castle in The World that Never Was...Axel seemed to have no particular motivation other than to throw a wrench into things. Axel's main motivation seriously seems to be 'The LOLz'. Let's take a look at Axel's actions and try and glean a motivation out of them.

I don't think he's Reno...but once I've laid out these points, perhaps you'll agree with who I do think he is...

Granted, these are the only cases in which we know for certain who the corresponding Somebodies were, but three out of three is a pretty strong hunch, if you ask me. Back to the original argument...going by this logic, it makes no sense at all for Axel to be Reno's Nobody... Reno is many things, but a wannabe usurper and the underhanded leader of a double-crossed backhanded hostile takeover...is most assuredly not one of them. Reno is a Turk. And Turks are family. He would never betray his fellow Turks, no matter what. If the Turks were going to overthrow ShinRa, you can bet your materia he'd be right there on the front lines, fighting to the death to protect Rude and Elena--not silently plotting to do them in and then take out Rufus himself. How retarded would that be? For that matter, if Reno were Axel, would that make Elena Larxene? I gues that one kinda fits if you squint... But who would Rude be? ...Marluxia? None of the Nobodies wear sunglasses... O_o And how about Tseng? Why would Reno get a Nobody and none of the others would? You can't honestly tell me you believe he a.) died alone without his Turks or b.) was the only one with a strong enough heart to warrant a Nobody. Hello?

In any case, if Reno was turned into a Nobody, it'd be somebody like Demyx; the guy who everyone thinks is a lazy goof-off who never does his job without being prodded and just wants to hang out and jam. In fact, Demyx is a much better candidate for Reno's Nobody, if you ask me. Reno takes his job seriously, but seems to take every opportunity he can conjure up to not use deadly force. I know not many people are familiar with Before Crisis, but it does a lot to discount the fanon ideas that Reno is some ruthless malicious serial killer--if anything, it confirms that he wasn't OOC in Advent Children, and is a nice guy with a really silly side who would save a child from being crushed by a summon beast. All in all, it seems to me that all Reno really wants is to hang out and have a good time. He does his job, and he does a damn fine job of it, but I'm inclined to think if he could do it without hurting anybody? He'd be SO down with that SO much more than the way things really are.

Then there's also the very obvious argument of how the hell do you spell A-X-E-L with R-E-N-O? They don't even sound remotely alike, and there is an obvious trend in the naming of the Nobodies. Contrary to popular belief, Reno's not an idiot...but it seems to me that he wouldn't have thought to randomly make up a fake name using the letters A-E-L just so he wouldn't have to give Xemnas his real name to be redubbed for the Org... Additionally, the argument that they look so alike is kind of moot anyway, because of all three cases we've seen Somebody vs. Nobody, they're not identical. Sora is a brunet--Roxas was blond. Kairi is a redhead--Naminé had platinum hair. Xehanort's hair was ash-grey while Xemnas's was sharp blue-silver. Eye color remains the same, it seems...but even skin colors are subject to change--unless 'Ansem' and Xemnas really got into the fake tanning lotion hardcore. So why would the fact that Axel and Reno both have flaming red hair be indicative of any relation? If anything, it should be a counter-argument! ...Though it does follow red ==> blond...maybe Demyx is Reno's Nobody, hm? Off duty, yo.

THE PROCEDURE:

While I have yet to find a full compilation timeline for the events of the Kingdom Hearts series, in the short Roxas: Somewhere in Time (from the bonus book Another Report that came with the preorders of FM+), the first scene involves Roxas waking up from a troubling dream to find Axel peering down at him. It's...kinda hilarious. The prose gives indication that several months have passed since Axel was assigned to Castle Oblivion with the others, and Roxas spent that time without him. Their friendship was budding at this time, as they made plans to go get ice cream in Twilight Town after running a mission together, but at this point in time Roxas is unconvinced that he's even capable of having friends, since he's been fed all that no hearts BS by the elders. Axel, however, seems hurt by Roxas's hesitation. So even though it is implied they haven't been working together for very long, Axel is already visibly attached to Roxas, even if Roxas doesn't have the same strong bond in return yet.

I've come to the conclusion, for various reasons, that it's likely time passes very differently in The World That Never Was and other places connected to it, such as Betwixt and Between and the space where Castle Oblivion was. I won't get into all this now...it's lots of Schrödinger and quantum physics shit and it's mostly irrelevant to this particular theory anyway, so I won't bore you with Fun With Temporal Paradoxes this time around. Suffice it to say that while Another Report indicates that several months have passed between the end of KHI and the time at which Axel returns from Castle Oblivion, I believe that significantly less time has actually passed. I think that it's obvious Axel and Roxas know one another and are pals/partners/etc on the job, but Roxas is still reluctant to really own up to feelings of friendship at this point. Popular arguments for Axel's motives in CoM are that he did everything for Roxas, but I feel that's a bit hasty and presumptuous, especially since the canon indicates that Roxas doesn't share the bond in return by the time Axel comes home.

Little information is given on the point of the events of Castle Oblivion. In Another Report, it's stated that Roxas knew they were conducting some kind of research, but he didn't know what. Frankly, I'm inclined to believe Castle Oblivion was nothing but a big game to Xemnas all along. He needed some research done on Naminé and Sora, but if he could kill two birds with one stone, so be it. So he sends a specially-selected group off to Castle Oblivion for this project... Look at who was present: Vexen, Lexaeus, Zexion, Axel, Marluxia, Larxene. The three shadiest of the original six (let's face it, Xigbar is loyal to a fault, despite the fandom's often completely off-kilter characterization of him...and Xaldin is...fuckin'...Xemnas's knight), the troublemaker, and the two n00bs. Everyone sent to Castle Oblivion was expendable. It was like Xemnas was setting it up for all the weak links to just die. Rather suspect, don't you agree? It's my belief that Xemnas sent those members of the Organization to Castle Oblivion...to die, and Axel likely knew that. Sherlock Holmes he may not be, but he's no fool. He's pretty perceptive, and I get the feeling he knew from the get-go that the elder's didn't respect or like him much. He knew that the only way to rectify that situation would be to prove himself, as it were, and here was the perfect opportunity. However he was going to have to play his cards juuuuuust right, or risk blowing everything. He was going to have to come out of this smelling like roses, or all would have been for naught anyway. If we pay close attention, we can easily see how every step Axel takes is precisely and meticulously placed, and deduce that regardless of how outrageous or abrupt his actions may have seemed, everything was done for a reason, and everything went according to plan...

THE DATA:

The first time we meet Axel is on the first floor of Castle Oblivion. The canon timeline states that by this point, Axel is already opposed to Marluxia's plans to overthrow the Organization and is acting alone, and so from this we can glean that he's already got plans to try and throw a wrench into the whole deal. Axel shows up, taunts Sora, they battle, and then Axel vanishes, leaving Sora scratching his head with a new card in his hand and a lot of new questions.

There's a bit of a discrepancy between the manga and the game at this point... In the manga, when Vexen shows up topside and chats with Axel and Larxene to show off Repliku, Larxene drags Repliku off into Naminé's room and force-feeds him the false memories from Destiny Island, which is what we see in the Reverse/Rebirth version of Chain of Memories. In the original game, however, Axel just gives Vexen a card with memories of Destiny Islands on it to 'upload', for lack of a better word, into Repliku's mind, and the manner in which Repliku is given Riku's memories is not shown specifically unless one plays though the Riku version of events. More on this later.

So what am I getting at? Firstly, Axel quite obviously threw the fight with Sora--he doesn't even break a sweat, there was no way Sora actually did any major damage this round. He was testing him; I think he was checking Sora's moves against Roxas's moves, personally. 358/2 Days gives us that Axel was Roxas's trainer when the kid was new to the Org; I'm sure Roxas and Axel sparred a lot, it would make sense that Axel would have little trouble predicting Sora's movements because Sora and Roxas have the same essence. It's thoroughly-founded canon that Roxas could whoop just about anyone's ass...he pwnd Axel in the novels, and we have every indication that he was every bit the little badass he thinks he is. The same can be said for Sora--Sora is the effin' Keyblade Master. If he'd wanted to kill Axel he could have, and Axel likely wouldn't have stood much of a chance, even with his fire and teleportation powers. But Axel put up good resistance, and I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that he knows how Roxas fights. But more than this, the whole point of Axel's actions with Sora are merely to see what the boy's potential might be. He's no scientist, but if Sora kept his heart when he became a Heartless, then maybe there's hope for the rest of them to regain theirs somehow. In Axel's mind, Sora holds all the answers, and he wants them. But that goes against the desires of his present company, it seems. He knows Larxene and Marluxia are watching, so while it seems to me that it's pretty obvious Axel doesn't really want to hurt Sora, he has to make it look good. However Larxene still notes that Axel went easy on him, and so he quickly has to give her the spiel about how the whole point is to test Sora's limits, not to actually break him--besides, the kid has some really intriguing accomplishments under his belt. He's clearly straddling the fence here--he's waiting for an opening to snare the usurpers and expose the coup...but he can't let on that he's got ulterior motives, so he has to make it look like he's being a good boy, and this is only the first instance of this phenomenon. Luckily, he's a pretty good liar.

At this point, he sidewinds the conversation to the point where Larxene actually admits she and Marluxia are trying to take the Organization, and she is pleased to learn he is apparently in on the deal, though he never actually says as much. Every word spoken is spoken with precision, because if anyone moves to call him out on a claim he made, he wants to make sure he's got his back covered...and so he twists his words and gets Larxene to draw her own conclusions without ever actually owning up to anything, while at the same time ascertaining her betrayal of the Organization. Furthermore, when Vexen shows up on the scene, Axel interrupts Larxene's complaining and actually speaks very politely to the older man. Now why do you suppose he would bother to play up the niceties? He's saving face, of course. Play nice with all the older kids and they'll never see it coming when you push them off the monkey bars.

Sora doesn't meet up again with Axel for a while, but there is plenty of stuff going on behind the scenes. One point of interest is how close Axel seems to be with Naminé. Larxene and Marluxia keep poor Naminé locked up in a room, drawing up the warped images of Sora's new memories, and you can see the fear in her posture and the terror in her eyes when the two of them are afoot. But when Axel is around, Naminé seems much more open and at ease. It may just be that he's not cruel to her the way the other two are, but in the KHII novels, the two of them are actually something like friends. There are several scenes in the manga where Naminé actually gives Axel a hard time--she sits him down at one point and has at a tear in his coat, practically sitting on him while she mends it. So while Axel's personality in CoM doesn't illustrate his kindness too well, retroactively we can see from Naminé's attitude toward him in KHII that he was kind to her and she trusts him. This is relevant later, I promise.

The next significant event that goes on is Marluxia's basically branding Vexen a traitor. The Repliku project didn't work out as planned, and Vexen goes to throw a hissy fit when Larxene calls him out on it, so Marluxia reminds him that since Naminé was entrusted to him--Lord of Castle Oblivion--then defying Marluxia is defying the wishes of the Organization. Marluxia bids Vexen to kill Sora, and we're all pretty much left befuddled by Marluxia's order. Frantic to save his own skin, Vexen takes drastic measures and makes a location card out of the 'other side' of Sora's heart. This is the only instance in the game that Roxas is really brought up, and from their observation area, Larxene and Axel are uneasy. If Sora finds out about Roxas, it could really mess up their plans. This exchange is important:

Marluxia: Let Naminé handle this. In the meantime, Axel, you know what to do.
Axel: No, I don't. Maybe you could spell it out for me?
Marluxia: Rid us of our traitor.
Axel: Done. There's no taking that order back later.

Now, did it strike anyone else as odd that Axel couldn't put two and two together? Axel might not be Edogawa Conan, but he's a pretty clever guy. Obviously, if Vexen is causing problems, the solution is to eliminate him. But he forced Marluxia to say it out loud. This is another blatant case of CYA, kids--Axel's covering his own ass. If Xemnas questions Axel's actions, he can say that Marluxia ordered him to kill Vexen, and of course disobeying Marluxia would be betraying the Organization. Axel wanted to make dead sure that Marluxia couldn't take back what he said...because it would come back to haunt him later.

After Vexen is taken care of, Axel returns to check in with the brass, and asks another pointedly deliberate question in Marluxia's direction:

Axel: Marluxia, you used Vexen to test Sora's strength, right?
Larxene: Not just Sora's. Yours too, Axel. We weren't sure if you had it in you to take out a fellow member of the Organization. Well, I guess you did. You can join the big leagues now. With the three of us, taking over the Organization will be child's play.
Axel: I see. And that's where Sora comes in, right?
Larxene: Right. He wants to see Naminé, so we give him what he wants.

I dunno about you guys, but I feel that if you take this conversation at face value, Axel ends up looking like an idiot. 'Great golly gee, guys...what are we doing again? I forgot. Enlighten me plzkthx.' Ah...no. He's doing the CYA thing again, so that Marluxia and Larxene's plans are out in the open for anyone who might be listening... And I say 'might be listening' because there is indication that every move the Castle Oblivion crew makes is under surveillance, and either Larxene and Marluxia are too stupid to realize it, or they honestly think they're cool enough not to need to worry about it. The next scene Axel is present for involves Naminé, and he chides her for just sitting idly by while Sora and Repliku tear each other apart. Then he basically turns his back and tells her that if she runs now, no one will stop her. So Naminé trusts Axel's words and makes a break for it, heading out to aid Sora. Then we have arguably the most important scene in the entire game as far as Axel's characterization goes.

After Naminé runs off, Axel says to the empty room, "And now, Sora, the real fun begins..." and then laughs wickedly and bids Naminé and Sora to give him a good show. In the original GBA version of the game, the sprites didn't allow the range of movement or expression necessary to depict the imagery properly, but in Re:CoM, Axel's laughter is abruptly cut off and he lifts his hand to his chest looking startled, something like a grimace on his face. It's as if...something in his chest has suddenly twinged. ...How suspect. Now, why in the world would anything twinge behind Axel's breastbone if Nobodies have no hearts to speak of? Logically, they'd have to have something there to pump blood and whatnot; Nobodies might not be entirely human, but unless they've suddenly developed photosynthesis, it'd be difficult for them to exist without something pumping blood through their veins. I know that when injured the Nobodies don't appear to bleed, but here's where I could get into biology and point out that if they don't have blood they wouldn't have flesh-colored skin. Certainly melanin has a lot to do with skin pigmentation, but it's blood that makes it pinkish. It's blood that makes your body warm. The only blood shown in the series is in KHII when Barbossa cuts Elizabeth's hand and the blood is shown on the gold coin as it tumbles into the chest...even Sora doesn't bleed when he gets injured, so the fact that the Nobodies never bleed on-screen is moot. Animals have blood. Even insects have blood. If you're alive, and you're not a plant or a single-celled organism, you have blood, and you need a heart to pump it.

Bringing me to the long-argued issue of 'Lost in Translation'. This is one of the biggest reasons I rarely watch anything dubbed--not because the voices are bad (which, incidentally, is not the case at all in KH, IMHO; I adored Quinton Flynn and Jesse McCartney in their roles), but because so much of the story is lost when it's translated. There are many nuances of Japanese that just don't carry over into English--the subject of the heart and love in particular. The concept of the 'heart' in Japanese is a little different than it is in English, for one thing--they use the word 心--kokoro--to indicate that which the Nobodies are lacking. 'Kokoro' is not the physical heart; the word for that is 心臓--shinzou--which is the character for 'kokoro' plus the character indicating one's insides or organs and wot. 'Kokoro' is much more the ethereal heart than the physical; it is the nucleus of emotion and the source of love, but it is a different concept from the muscle that drives a living creature. But I digress... The point is that unless Axel has heartburn (courtesy laugh), that's not physical discomfort he's reacting to in that image there to the left... It's emotion.

After that, Axel laughs again and looks up toward the ceiling, announcing, "Hey, now... This is really fun!" to...ceiling cat? ...No. I think he knows the Org back home can see him, he knows they're watching his every move. And he's loving every minute of it. He knows he's being tested, and what better way to put it in the boss's eye than to admit he's on to his game and still come out on top anyway? He's set up every domino perfectly, and now that all the pieces are in place, Naminé and Sora will give him the grand show he's been waiting for; all he has left to do is watch the Organization's plans unravel.

The next time we see Axel, he's gone to confront Marluxia, and the two of them have an epic Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny™. Marluxia calls Axel a traitor for allowing Naminé to escape, and Axel retorts that he has no idea what Marluxia is talking about. I? A traitor? What in the world are you talking about?

Axel: Right, your big plan. You use Naminé to rewrite Sora's memory piece by piece. He becomes her puppet. Then, using Naminé and Sora, you and Larxene overthrow the Organization. Did I get it right? 'Cause that would make YOU the traitor, Marluxia. Not me.
Marluxia: But you eliminated Vexen!
Axel: Yeah, come to think of it. So what? All I did was weed the garden. And I had to be sure you two trusted me.
Marluxia: I see...a double agent. You've been investigating our conspiracy from the start.
Axel: Moving on... I believe you ordered me to "rid us of our traitors." [summons his chakrams] I always follow orders, Marluxia.

Again, this was all set up so that Larxene and Marluxia's plot to overthrow the Organization would be spelled out, and at the same time, Axel could posit that Marluxia had been the one to order him to kill Vexen, so all he'd done was follow orders so he could gain their trust. Pretty foolproof, if you ask me. Doublecross the doublecrossers? Brilliant. They proceed to have an epic battle, which is spotted with some snarking at one another, and comes to an abrupt halt when Marluxia sees fit to call Naminé from a portal, daring Axel to go through her if he's really that intent on destroying him. Mostly unfazed, Axel snipes back that if Marluxia thinks using Naminé as a shield will stop him he's sorely mistaken, and Marluxia grins, asking Sora if he heard Axel's cruel words. Axel winces as he realizes that was a set-up, and now he's going to have to fight Sora to move ahead, buying Marluxia time.

A noteworthy tidbit: In the manga, Naminé is there the whole time Axel and Marluxia are fighting, and there's actually a hilarious panel where one of Axel's chakrams gets buried in the wall inches from Naminé's face, and Marluxia gets pissed off and snarls, "You almost hit Naminé, you moron!" and Axel snaps back, "Well she's standing right where we're fighting!!" and Naminé just sort of inches away and is suddenly wearing a hardhat. I LOL'd. But when Marluxia nabs Naminé and uses her as a shield, Axel doesn't even stop his attack, he just plunges on ahead, knowing that Naminé is too important for Marluxia to let die. From where Sora is standing, it looks like Axel means to kill her, but you can see in the artwork that Axel missed wide to his left as Marluxia teleports out of the way. Though he says that he'll kill Naminé too if that's the way Marluxia is going to be, it's clear that he missed her deliberately.

In both situations, however, Axel and Sora now have to face off again. Axel tells Sora straight up that he really doesn't want to fight him, but he has a reputation to keep in mind. Cue battle theme. This is another one of those cases where Axel's movements seem to be partially on Roxas's behalf. He knows that Sora is Roxas's Other, and if Sora is the key to making Roxas (and perhaps all of them) whole again, then killing him would be a damn shame. Moreover, Axel knows that if Sora's serious, he doesn't really have much of a chance of winning. Because of game mechanics, you have to actually fight Axel or it's not interesting, but in the manga, Axel just dismisses his chakrams and waves Sora on ahead. The gist of the dialogue is the same in both situations though, whether Sora 'defeats' Axel in the game or he sends him on unscathed in the manga. "Hey, I was just out to get rid of Marluxia," goes his line in the manga; "if you wanna do it for me, then by all means. [pause] Well, what are you waiting for? Go on, get going! Unless you actually want to fight me. You don't want me to get serious, kid--I might just have to kill you." At which point Sora gets pissed off and tells Axel to get bent. And then Axel just laughs as he portals away, informing Sora that, 'Maybe saving your hide was worth the trouble after all... Make sure you come out on top...'

That's the last we see of Axel in the manga, but in the game, his role continues after Sora beats him and moves on to defeat Marluxia. In the second playthrough version of Chain of Memories--Reverse/Rebirth, where the player plays as Riku--Axel's sneaky shenanigans continue. He goes down to Zexion's little dungeon and taunts the boy as he mourns the loss of Lexaeus. Zexion ignores the snide remarks and asks if Axel has the information on Riku's home town and memories. Later on, once Riku defeats Zexion's illusions, Axel returns with Repliku and basically sics the copy on Zexion and...he...uhm...like...eats him. Or something. It's kinda vague:

Zexion: Oh...Oh, yes, of course. Vexen's replica. Good thinking. We can use this Riku to defeat the real one. ...Axel?
Axel: Say, Riku. It must be hard now that you know you're not real. I bet you'd LIKE to be real.
Riku Replica: Yeah.
Axel: Well, you can. All you need is strength that the real Riku doesn't have. Get that, and you can be a new person, your OWN person. Not Riku, not anybody else. You won't be someone else's copy. You'll be you.
Zexion: Axel! What are you telling him?!
Axel: You know, I bet he's as good a place to start as any.
Zexion: Have you lost your mind?!
Axel: Sorry, Zexy. Saving you doesn't seem half as entertaining as observing Sora and Riku.
[Riku Replica walks towards Zexion to absorb him.]
Zexion: No...STOP!!!

O_o Your guess is as good as mine, kids. Suffice it to say, however, that Axel is responsible for Zexion's death as well, even if it is sorta...secondhand.

After that, we can cut back to Another Report, picking up where we started, with Axel's returning to The World That Never Was and reuniting with Roxas. Axel is the only one to return, and while this unnerves Roxas somewhat, he doesn't seem too bereft that the others were killed. Axel makes a point not to really comment on the subject, and actually seems a smidge remorseful for his actions and that he has to bear the bad news to Roxas. ...How intriguing. After that there is a scene in Where Nothing Gathers, where Saïx sees fit to give Axel a hard time for losing Naminé, and Axel snaps back that he barely made it out of there with his life! How can they expect him to have secured Naminé in that situation? Moving right along, Xigbar calls Roxas 'Sora'--what an amusing role reversal--and Roxas is troubled by this, feeling like he knows that name, but can't figure how or from where. Then they are sent to Hollow Bastion to investigate some strange goings-on about the Keyhole, and while in the Corridors of Darkness, Roxas asks Axel what Xigbar was getting at, bringing up 'Sora', and Axel tells him not to worry about it.

Point here being that while Saïx seems to not trust Axel as far as he could throw him, the rest of the Org seems satisfied with Axel's performance. The only punishment he seems to sustain is that he has to immediately go on a mission after getting back instead of being permitted to rest (which is, very few members of the fandom seem to realize, when Maleficent's return is catalyzed--Axel is personally responsible for freeing Diablo, Maleficent's pet raven, from the cage where it was being held during this mission detailed in Another Report, allowing the bird to retrieve her cloak and bring the witch back to life). Mission accomplished--he survived Castle Oblivion without heavy incident, and returned to a pat on the back. He came out smelling like roses, just like he planned. The traitors are dead, Naminé is safe, and Axel is back in good with the boss. For the time being anyway...

Then there is a really poignant scene that mirrors one of the scene in the prologue of KHII; Axel and Roxas are seated atop the clock tower in Twilight Town eating sea-salt ice cream, and Axel is sort of brooding on how the Org won't tell Roxas anything about Sora and that's terrible...but he doesn't want to tell him either, so does that mean he's betraying him?

"We might not always be together," Axel blurts suddenly, and when Roxas gives a start and stares at him Axel blusters and continues that because of that, they have to make lots of memories together. The two laugh, wondering if beings without hearts can even have memories...? '... even though Axel didn’t have a heart, he felt something ache in his chest when he thought that Roxas might be going away...' the prose reads then, and we fade out with them looking at the sunset. This makes the scene where Hayner says something along the same lines on The 2^nd Day so much more poignant. I didn't translate that particular scene from the novel, but I wouldn't be surprised if it gave Roxas some sense of déjà-vu... In any case, I think that Axel and Roxas's friendship doesn't really hit the hardcore BFFL level until after Chain of Memories, mostly because of the significant change in Axel's entire demeanor (and yes, I know you don't show your real face when you're on the job with a bunch of people you don't like) come KHII, and because Another Report gives strong indications that Roxas's feelings toward Axel didn't really kick into gear until after that scene atop the tower.

Moving on to KHII, by this time, pretty much everything Axel does is for Roxas, however there are a few situations that specifically bear mentioning. One of the scenes that was left out of the original game but was illustrated in FM+ and the novels involved Axel actually saving Naminé's life after taking her off Riku's hands. Riku saves Naminé from DiZ and then hands her over to Axel for safekeeping, but the two of them are apprehended by Saïx in the Corridors of Darkness. Without missing a beat, Axel tells Naminé to run. She protests, but he tells her he'll be fine, and to run back to Riku. Also of note is when Axel goes to Twilight Town to abduct Kairi--in the novels, he actually gets bowled over by Pluto, who sits on him and licks his face. How interesting. Why do you suppose the King's faithful pet would be so fond of the enemy? There are a lot more scenes in the novels that involve the Organization, so once I finish my translation work, I might update this with further data, but for now I think I've covered most of my bases.

Other things to bear in mind are some hints we have from the yet unreleased 358/2 Days game coming out in June 2008. At one point in The World that Never Was, Saïx gets all pissed off because he's noticed that apparently hanging out with Roxas makes Axel happy, and how the hell can a Nobody be happy without a heart? King Mickey also reiterates on this fact, "That Axel acts like he's got a heart in him!"

So what does all of this mean? I'm getting to it. Everything about Axel's movements indicate that he's different from the other Nobodies--even Saïx and King Mickey seem to agree...

Further Observations >>>

Org Drabbles Part Deux

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 17:55:25 GMT

again, mostly Axel...some Roxas, Demyx and a dash of Xigbar. one of them managed to be a sentence; the rest of them are < 100 words. enjoy!
Themes 1-15

#16: rip
It was lucky Naminé was a rather talented seamstress. Axel frequently came home from missions with torn sleeves and ripped seams, tattered hems and broken zippers on his coats, and Naminé would give him a fierce look with those bright eyes of hers and Axel would wordlessly sink into a chair and let her have at the mending job. He did, however, find it a little sad that the rips in the seams of their lives weren't so easily sewn back together, else Naminé would have been an even greater commodity than any of them could articulate.

#17: missing time
Sometimes the skewed time within The World That Never Was threw Axel off so badly that he had to go off-world just to get his head back together and remind himself that if Schrödinger really had kept his cat in a box the cat would have died eventually anyway. Axel didn't want to die in The World That Never Was, between space and amid all that missing time where daydreams scattered and nightmares bred like insects. At least, he thought, if he died where time actually passed, it wouldn't matter that his time had all passed too quickly.

#18: crest
Roxas didn't believe Axel when the redhead first told him that his hair actually spiked like that all on its own. It wasn't until Demyx had shoved Axel off a pier in Port Royal one evening and Roxas saw him stomp back up the beach, completely drenched but with his hair still askew and pointed like the ruffled crest of a cockatiel that Roxas began to wonder if it wasn't true after all...

#19: itch
Demyx sometimes complained that his fingertips itched when he hadn't been able to play his sitar for a while--during meetings or on missions. Axel hadn't understood the finer points of the turn of phrase until Roxas left and Axel felt a strange sensation of emptiness cross his palms and snake behind his ribs every time he found himself in Twilight Town atop that clock tower bereft of an ice cream bar and a certain pair of blue eyes.

#20: explode
Axel had never talked to Xigbar very much. The redhead had had little interest in Xigbar's two favorite pastimes, and Xigbar had little to talk about outside of science and drinking, and so while there was no real animosity between the two of them, there wasn't much common ground. ...Until Xigbar mentioned how sodium reacted with water and Axel decided that being put on bathroom duty might have its perks after all.

#21: rise
Xemnas had said in passing once that Roxas was fragile like fresh dough. If he was not nurtured and allowed to fully rise before being exposed to the heat, he would simply collapse when the time came for him to prove himself. And Axel had just rolled his eyes and shaken his head and replied that fallen bread might not have been good to eat, but at least it was strong enough to hold itself together when all its companions could do was burn to nothing and flake apart.

#22: crumble
There was something deceptive about sand, Axel had mused once as he and Demyx had crouched by the shoreline of Twilight Town. Despite how it shifted and drifted and piled up on the beach, heavy and powerful in great hills and rolling seas of glittering tawny gold, sand was something like intangible all at the same time. You could drown someone in its density, Axel had said, but a fistful of it would merely crumble between your fingers. And Demyx, who was wise as often only children were, replied that water was the same way.

#23: range
Sparring with Roxas used to be frustrating. Axel figured he should have had the advantage; he had ranged weapons and could teleport...he was more experienced than Roxas; why'd the little punk keep beating him so soundly? It had actually been Luxord who had noted that Axel and Roxas were like fire and air--fire appeared to have the advantage, but even as air fueled fire, so too could it circle the flames so quickly and completely as to smother them. And the next time Roxas did his signature reversal move and whipped around to Axel's blind side, Axel just smiled.

#24: fight/flight
There was something infuriatingly satisfying about running a mission with Demyx. The boy's knee-jerk escape reflex was so pronounced that no matter how much or how little Axel did, Demyx felt indebted to him for saving his ass for the next several days. Axel was all fight, and Demyx all flight, and somehow between the two of them the job got done anyway, but Axel always came out of it with a few banked favors.

#25: acid
Marluxia had always had a way with flowery prose--it was rather fitting, Axel supposed, considering what his weapon of choice had been. But when Marluxia had seen fit to detail to Axel about the precise color of Larxene's eyes one evening as they sat in the lounge of Castle Oblivion, the redhead had simply ignored him. Larxene's eyes weren't glittering pools of sapphire anything, as far as Axel was concerned. They were vials of that sickly glowing teal acid in Vexen's quarters, waiting to scorch and burn the first unsuspecting fool to come along and look too closely.

#26: color
When Axel had first come to The World That Never Was, he had worried that he'd suddenly gone colorblind. The halls of the castle were endless and white, and the streets outside a contourless black. And when the rain fell it looked like nothing and it felt like nothing, and only when the reflection of the seemingly out-of-place neon lights caught the shallow puddles in the street did Axel realize he hadn't lost his sense of color...the world had.

#27: give
Every time Roxas looked at him with those sad, searching eyes, Axel felt like a wretched and horrible creature, having every answer he knew the boy was looking for and yet all the while refusing to give them to him.

#28: needle
There were plenty of folktales about the threads of fate that tied certain people together, and Axel never questioned for an instant that there was one between himself and Roxas. The kid was like the other side of his coin, and Axel was neither foolish nor proud enough to suppose that anything he had done with Roxas's help could have been done alone. He did, however, wonder how precisely he'd allowed the boy to get close enough to thread the needle that had somehow strung that thread beneath their skin.

#29: locks
He was actually a surprisingly good locksmith, and on more than one occasion he'd infiltrated a locked journal and left an incendiary note for later discovery, or nicked a chocolate bar from a personal safe stashed beneath someone's bed. It was stupid, Axel thought, that of all the locks in the world, the ones around what Roxas was actually thinking were the ones he couldn't pick open.

#30: slope
Something in the back of Axel's mind remembered learning about finding the slopes of lines at some point in his Somebody's past, and he couldn't help but wonder if there was a way to calculate the precise steepness of the slippery slope of treachery he was sliding down right now.

BC Episode 22 AGAIN: Mission 1

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 03:41:28 GMT

for some reason there are two Episode 22s. O_o i don't get it. either way, i'll get back to Reno's and Tseng's special episodes once i've gotten through the story scripts...i need to do this and i keep getting sidetracked by other things. >/ anyhoo, when we last left off, Reno and Rude had just been pwnd by a giant robot and Tseng was passing out.

Tseng wakes up all like, 'ow, i got pwnd that sucks', and i'm not sure if we're in a dungeon or what exactly, since there's no blocking written in... he asks Reno and Rude if they're okay, and they're like, "oh totli," and Tseng is like, "awesome. we have to hurry." i can't imagine they were just left unconscious where they fell...so...are they planning a jail break? O_o i'm a bit lost here.

cut to Andrew back in the car, where Andrew's like, "i have to get to the station. i know! i'll take a shortcut! it'll be awesome! ...what the hell does AVALANCHE want with Elena anyhow?"

back on the edge of Midgar, we run into Fuhito, and he's going on about how they've secured Elfe and everything is going according to plan, like villains do right before all hell breaks loose... -_-;; he urges the Ravens to go to the station, and then there is a round of evil laughter and Fuhito breaks out the inner monologue about how this is his chance and once he unites the 4 support materia with Elfe's body they can summon Zirconiade. dundundunnnnn!

moving on, Shears has been working on his plan to get Elfe back, and he's like OHSNAP, they're almost ready to summon Zirconiade, what am i gonna do?? D: and as he's musing on what he can do, Fuhito sneaks up on him just like last time. srsly, Shears, what kind of ninja are you? O_o and so Shears is like D:< 'where's ~~Buttercup~~ Elfe?" and Fuhito replies, "oh, she's right here in this car." ...apparently there's a car nearby. i wish there was blocking. >/ so Shears apparently gets tossed in the ~~van~~car. Meanwhile, we come to Elena; she's like "WTFBBQ lemme go! D:<" on a train headed for Midgar. back to Fuhito and Shears, and Fuhito's like, "yeah, Elfe's completely fucked no matter what, so...gimme the materia."

Andrew has arrived at the station and is looking for Elena; he boards the train and finds one of the medals she always carries with her (from her grappling elite team thing) and is like 'well shit. i guess i'll just have to wait for her here...she'll definitely be coming back.' he finds her in the 5th car of the train being held captive by the Ravens and goes all heroic. "Elena's unrelated to the Turks--release her!" and the Raven says he'll trade Elena for the support materia. he makes his way up toward the first car with Elena after fighting off some badguys, and muses that helping Elena is important and there won't be any problems so long as he just gets the materia back. confident, isn't he? XD; i think he's got a real soft spot for Elena you guys... he catches up with the Raven who has Elena and she tells him not to barter--she can escape on her own marr. the Raven is too strong for Elena, though, and i can't quite figure what he does, since there's no blocking, but this exchange is neat:

Andrew: I got it, I got it... I'll give you the materia.
Elena: But why!? That's something very important, isn't it!?
Andrew: Elena...it's fine. *to the Raven* Release Elena...let her walk toward me, and I'll throw you the materia.
Raven: *creepy evil pedo laughter*
[presumably the Raven complies, then--]
Andrew: Elena--get down!
Elena: What are you planning?
Andrew: Just this-- I'll never hand over the materia!

but the Ravens are too hardcore for Andrew and gank the materia anyway. then apparently they run off, because he says he's leaving to go after them, and Elena's like, "me too!" and he says no and tells her to stay put. i doubt he'd tell her to stay if the Raven was still afoot. she insists on going with him because this is her fault, and they bicker a little and Andrew's like, stop worrying; i'll make sure to do what needs to be done. I'm a Turk after all, and Elena gets to musing about how she always thought the Turks were just ShinRa's dogs, but maybe they're cool after all. they make it to the first car and fight the Ravens some more, but are overpowered and the Ravens get away, and Elena's like D: but Andrew says they'll snatch a helicopter and chase them. >D

meanwhile, Shears is all injured n stuff after getting...i dunno...buttraped by Fuhito. and Fuhito's like LOL we're in ur city gettin' all ur support materia and then we're killin' ur girlfriend it'll be awesome and Shears is like noooooo. Fuhito continues monologuing and then like...kicks Shears in the balls and runs away. Andrew finds him and is like ohcrap wtf happened to you man? Shears begs Andrew to chase Fuhito and save Elfe because '*coughcough* i'm...not gonna make it *coughdie*' and the scene ends with Andrew:

"~~STELLA!!!!~~ SHEARS!!!!!"