Subject: Abarai Renji/Inoue Orihime
Title: Only a Broken Heart
Notes: Since getting into the Bleach fandom, I've been a very fierce supporter of RenRuki, but it just so happened that in an RP of mine, the Rukia and Ichigo players ship IchiRuki. This changed the entire axis of my Bleach world, and funnily enough, Renji started gravitating toward Orihime, and she toward him after their respective Objects of Affection turned them down. And suddenly I started to ship it; they've got a lot more in common than I ever really gave much thought to. However, since it's canon Orihime is in love with Ichigo, and pretty much canon Renji is arse-over-kettle for Rukia, it takes a strong dose of IchiRuki to make this pairing work. Thus, this is my Circumstantial OTP™.
Seventeen tracks plus bonus song. All files are MP3 format, complete with track numbers and album art for those of you iTuners. Everything is uploaded individually, and a zip file can be found at the bottom. Because I'm a gross overachiever, and since there are no real canon panels of these two actually interacting, I wrote little fic snippets to go with each song. ^_^ ♥
o1. Yael Naim - Too Long [♪]
i irrigate illusions
then let them grow
how can i pacify myself
and let go?
and i ran wild to see
who i turned out to be...
i've been waiting on my own
i've been waiting for too long
not strong enough to be with you
i've been making up my world
i've been painting it with gold
not strong enough to see you...
「Orihime had spent most of her life supposing she would never be strong enough for Ichigo to fancy her. She just hadn't expected the confirmation to hurt so badly.」
you used to walk with me like
we had nowhere we needed to go
nice and slow...
to no place in particular
we used to have this figured out;
we used to breathe without a doubt
when nights were clear
you were the first star that i'd see
we used to have this under control
we never thought; we used to know
at least there's you, and at least there's me
can we get this back?
can we get this back to how it used to be?
「He had always figured that if they ever spoke again, Rukia would be different. After all, it had been forty years they'd spent apart. What Renji hadn't counted on was the idea that she now had a closeness with Ichigo that had been theirs once upon a time, and he envied it.」
o3. Josie and the Pussycats - You Don't See Me [♪]
i dream a world where you understand
that i dream a million sleepless nights
well i dream a fire when you're touching my hand
but it twists into smoke when i turn on the lights
i'm speechless and faded
it's too complicated
is this how the book ends--
nothing but good friends?
'cuz you don't see me
and you don't need me
and you don't love me
the way i wish you would
the way i know you could...
「No words of condolence were ever so sharp, so piercing, or so painful as the 'I'm sorry' that came after an 'I love you'.」
o4. Rie Fu - I So Wanted [♪]
last night I wrote something like
'it's more than pain'
and secret numbness is all that remains
i so wanted to be in your heart
i so wanted to be in your heart
but you wanted her and me on my own.
you don't know that it left another hole...
「Orihime never indicted Rukia for filling the coveted spot in Ichigo's heart. She didn't even envy the girl, for envy was a cruel and bitter emotion Orihime had long ago wished to never feel toward her friends again. And so all she managed to feel was...hollow, and in feeling hollow she felt afraid, for Hollows always attacked the ones they loved and left behind.」
swimming through the aisles at the grocery store
i don't even know what I'm lookin for
waiting for someone to come along and find me.
at least I'm breathin'; at least I'm alive
as long as im dreamin'
everything's gonna be all right.
going out at night looking for distraction
sleeping through the day there's no redemption
waiting for someone to come along and find you.
at least you're breathin'; at least you're alive
as long as you're dreamin', everything's gonna be all right.
at least we're breathing
at least we're alive
as long as we're dreaming
everything's gonna be all right...
「He had never known Orihime very well. Though he had been quick to volunteer to go after her when she'd been spirited away to Hueco Mundo, it had mostly been because he knew the girl was dear to both Ichigo and Rukia, for whom Renji would have done anything. But when he bumped into her one afternoon on his way to the grocer for Urahara (anything to keep his mind occupied), and had easily read the heartbreak on her face, he had postponed the errand, bought her a crepe, and sat her down on a bench in the park. And then he just let her cry for both of them.」
o6. Rob Thomas - When the Heartache Ends [♪]
there ain't nobody who can show you how
to find the surface when you're underground
there ain't no blanket that can hide this cold
there ain't no memory that ever gets old
and it's all right, why don't you tell me again
how you'll still be there when the heartache ends
and it's all right, why don't you tell me, my friend
how you'll still be there when the heartache ends...
「When she learned that Renji had confessed his feelings to Rukia and had not received the response he'd hoped for, she understood how he'd known just what she'd needed that day in the park. And so she asked Urahara to deliver a message to him, inviting him to come visit her in the living world anytime, because while two broken hearts were a very sad foundation to build a friendship upon, it was a much better alternative to two broken hearts hurting alone.」
i know your weakness
you've seen my dark side
the end of the rainbow
is always a long ride
but don't be afraid anymore
it's only a broken heart...
「Renji had always hated to see girls cry, and Orihime was surely no exception, but whereas with most people he flailed because he didn't know how to fix the situation, he learned quickly that Orihime's tears were fixing the problem. So he let her cry, and she let him wipe the tears away, and somewhere over the course of it all, they both started to heal.」
o8. Daughtry - Crashed [♪]
from your face, your eyes are burning to me
you saved me, you gave me just what i need
oh, just what i need...
and then i crashed into you
and i went up in flames
could've been the death of me
but then you breathed your breath in me
and i crashed into you
like a runaway train
you will consume me
but i can't walk away...
「He had never suspected she would be so clever and wise, and she had never imagined he would be so gentle and bolstering, and neither of them could have dreamed that the other was apparently...just what the doctor ordered.」
walking like a one man army
fighting with the shadows in your head
living out the same old moment
knowing you'd be better off instead,
if you could only...
say what you need to say...
have no fear for giving in
have no fear for giving over
you'd better know that in the end
its better to say too much
then never say what you need to say again...
「He had chided her for smiling when she wanted to cry, and she had scolded him for standing tall when he wanted to fall apart, and then they had both just laughed, because for the first time in their lives, maybe it was okay to say and do what they were really thinking and feeling.」
i've seen the best of love, the best of hate
the best reward is earned, and I've paid
for every single word i ever said
confetti rainfall in the quiet street
the beauty is in what you make it
so get up on your feet
because tonight, the world turned in me
because right now, i don't dare to breathe
oh babe i know it's alive
and somewhere for us to find tonight
chase this light with me...
「Renji had spent so much of his life howling at the stars--or at least one star in particular--and it wasn't until one night as he watched Orihime run from one circle of light to the next, darting between the streetlamps down the sidewalk, that he realized that reaching for stars--endlessly far away things that they were--had probably always been futile, but maybe chasing light wasn't such a bad idea...」
11. 矢野真紀 (Yano Maki) - 大きな翼 (Ookina Tsubasa//Great Wings) [♪]
|as i tiptoe through my own naïveté|
i will move forward in order to heal
i will become warm, i will become strong
and i will overcome my own shortcomings
from within these dancing eyes,
there is a soul that cries out, "here, look at me!"
and these great wings upon my back ache
as i sing my way toward the endless future...
「She had always wanted to be strong for Ichigo, to be the kind of person he wouldn't have to protect. But with Renji, she wanted to be strong for a different reason--she wanted to be the kind of person who was worth protecting.」
i'll show you mine if you show me yours first
let's compare scars, i'll tell you whose is worse
let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words
we live on front porches and swing life away
we get by just fine here on minimum wage
if love is a labor i'll slave till the end
i won't cross these streets until you hold my hand
「The road to the future had always looked long, winding and uncertain, especially when you kept glancing behind you to see all the old mistakes in your wake. But it was a lot easier to keep your eyes forward on what could be rather than what had been when you had someone walking next to you.」
see you and me have a better time than most can dream
have it better than the best, so we can pull on through
whatever tears at us, whatever holds us down
and if nothing can be done
we'll make the best of what's around
turns out not where but who you're with
that really matters
and hurts not much when you're around
and if you hold on tight
to what you think is your thing
you may find you're missing all the rest...
「Somehow they always managed to have a good time, no matter what happened. If it rained when they had planned to go to the beach, they would swim in the rain--harder to get sunburnt that way, after all. If the weather was too hot and muggy to go hiking, they would sit on the balcony of Orihime's apartment drinking iced tea and discussing the most effective method of rappelling down the side of the adjacent building--because one day they were absolutely going to do that. And when Orihime had tripped and fallen headlong down a flight of steps, breaking her wrist the day she had made plans to teach Renji how to play her favorite board game, he stopped by her apartment on the way to the hospital to get it from her closet so they didn't have to reschedule.」
14. The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Your Guardian Angel [♪]
and now that i'm strong i have figured out
how this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul
and i know i'll find deep inside me
i can be the one
i will never let you fall
i'll stand up with you forever
i'll be there for you through it all
even if saving you sends me to heaven
「Ichigo had told her once in passing how Renji had volunteered, not as a personal friend, but as a high-ranking officer of the Gotei 13, to retrieve her from Las Noches, and Orihime had been touched. After all, it wasn't every day someone got a vice-captain to personally come to their rescue. But when she told him one day how happy that knowledge had made her, he just snorted a laugh and shook his head and explained that if it ever happened again, he'd be rescuing her as a friend, not an officer, and if the soutaichou wanted to deny the request, he would have no qualms about telling Old Man Yama where he could stick it.」
but i can't spell it out for you
no, it's never gonna be that simple
no i cant spell it out for you
if you just realize what i just realized
then we'd be perfect for each other
and will never find another
just realized what i just realized
we'd never have to wonder if
we missed out on each other now...
「They were both pretty dense when it came to romance, and it wasn't until one night when Renji had cracked his head on an open cabinet in her kitchen and she'd leaned in close to take a look that he realized he really wanted to kiss her. And it wasn't until he did so that she realized she'd wanted him to for a long time.」
16. Quietdrive - Time After Time [♪]
if you're lost
you can look
and you will find me
time after time
if you fall
i will catch you
i'll be waiting
time after time...
「Renji was an impatient man by nature. He hated waiting in line and was easily irritated by people who worked, walked, or explained too slowly. Even if a Shinigami potentially had forever, Renji didn't want to waste time sitting on his hands. But some things were worth waiting for, and even if it meant sitting on her doorstep with nothing to do for two hours so he would be sure to be there when she got home, seeing a smile light up Orihime's face after hearing she'd had a rough day was one of them.」
you can't always get what you want
but if you try sometimes
you might find
you get what you need...
「She had spent so long pining for the boy who had saved her from drowning in the darkest time of her life, and he had pined for so many years for the girl who had been his anchor. But in the end, maybe what she'd needed was a boy untethered to the earth, and he a girl who wasn't afraid to be rescued.」
If there are any broken links or the full download expires, just drop a note and I'll be happy to rectify the situation. Thanks for listening! ♥